Monday, August 20, 2007

It Is What It Is...Trapped, and Frosted Flakes



Justin Bobby, he gets the credit for naming this weeks hills episode and my post! good work bobby. How awkward was that drinks date...ugh. Lauren tried really hard but he was trying his best to be an ass. And then the fake, I love lauren thing didnt work so well. She looked really cute this episode, Lauren I mean...Audrina is always fine but Lauren is def closing the gap. So it appears Lauren is doing the roommate with crappy BF storyline again, damn, some people have all the luck. Switching gears, I loved how Heidi flipped the script on Spence this week. She literally cracked his face with a "wonderful surprise." How could he not see that one coming though after he started putting huge arcade games in the house with centipedes and shit. Its one thing to have an Xbox, but cmon Spence. The biggest revelation in this episope came when spencer picked up the brush and finished painting over the hollywood sign. I can now actually kinda see why she thinks he's so sweet. Kudos spence, and this time its for doing the right thing. Just know my friend, its a slippery slope. As George COstanza once put it " you lost hand." When she said we'll make decisions together she meant you'll make decisions together and if you disagree you'll do it her way...

R. Kelly: I am addicted to my daily new chapter of trapped in the closet. But the last few haven't been songs as much as the hip hopera characters talking their way through the plot. ANd is anyone keeping count of how many characters R is playing? There's too many to count, but I love how he keeps all their accents with perfect pitch. R. Kelly is the only person who can cuss you out in tune, to the beat, in any register. Truly a feat, no doubt, but i'm starting to wonder if he's crazy. The white guy sitting next to him certainly thinks so. And when I see him react the way he does its hard not to feel for that uncomfortable little white dude. Please don't go off the deep end Kells. We can't have you and Ookie go down this year....

Frosted Flakes: They're crunchy, they're delicious, they're grrr...ok you get it. But anybody who's ever eaten the flakes regularly has surely faced my dilemma. I'm not talkin about people who've eaten one bowl, I'm talkin about the seasoned vets. Don't you hate it when your enjoying a great bowl and the shit gets stuck on your teeth. And when you bite down you feel it impeding your natural bite. Its extremely irritating. And the only way to get it off is to brush your teeth. But your not down, so you're forced to try and pick your teeth to no avail. It makes you look ridculous, basically this is a cereal you should eat in the comfort of your home. I never thought I would sink so low as to have to creep and eat cereal. That is my life. I make no apologies.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Big Brother 8 and Kells!

I read something today that resonated so well it was wild "R. kelly walks that fine line between genius and crazy and we walk it with him." chapter 13 of trapped in the closet was a classic. It's some of the funniest shit i've ever heard. Included are a pigeon shitting on someone's face and a fish with titties! Oh kells, you never cease to amaze me. I can't wait until the 22nd chapter. I heard something like there's 50 chapters, get ya popcorn ready i guess.

Big Brother: Yup, ED and Daniele pulled it off! I've never been so anxious during an episode before. This was real intense. First off, Dustin is an idiot for being so cocky as to volunteer himself for the hot seat. The look on his face was priceless as chen bot told him he'd been evicted. It'll be interesting to see where the game goes from here. I know everyone at CBS is rejoicing, they cant wait to play that rock and roll music and cue up the dick rant. You know its funny, I hated Eric before but now he's alright. Oh! Girls are so shady. So Jessica was like "we'll see what happens out of the house," but she def didnt say that to Eric. I guess the chen bot is disarming. She is a robot by the way, I am certain she feels no emotion. Like Nicole Kidman in Invasion. Another movie I am certainly going to miss....

Thursday, August 16, 2007

The Hills, Fantasy Baseball, and Stuff

Well, where to begin...first off there's sooo much going on right now but a few things i like. Carrie and Jenny are going off to school. I hope they do well. great kids. I finally feel good, after praying about the girl situation. There's this great passage in Matthew i stumbled upon, its funny how that happens whenever you read the bible. Anyway, the passage was like "whatever you need, ask God and he'll give it to you. If you ask your father for bread, what father would give his son a rock." It was so powerful, and it really helped me. I feel like I have peace finally. So without further ado...the hills!Its been three days since the premiere and i've watched it three more times since then. This is a great show that really hit its stride the second half of last season. I hope they keep it up. I'm wondering if its scripted but then I listen to what heidi says and its def not scripted. So here's what i took away from the two episodes. The Music: They had, umbrella, beautiful girls, and fergie. All nice choices, i was pleasantly surprised at the hip-hop influence. But then they tried to pull a fast one. Did anybody catch that umbrella cover-ish white pop softened bullshit. It was honestly just like dream girls and the "got me a cadillac" song. The shit elvis used to pull re-recording black hits, that didnt sit too well.

Audrina's ex: Justin, Bobby, Justin Bobby. Apparently his name is Justin, but his friends call him bobby. (identity crises are weird) To me, he's wack. He looks so grimey, and not in a young jeezy kinda way. And I really like audrina, she's gorgeous. It makes me think I have a shot though, so I guess it ain't all bad. Lo def called it when she was like "did we hurt his feelings?" He was so sad it was funny. The thing is, if you're gonna be weird(i.e.have an identity crisis) don't get upset if people call you on it. just be blissfully weird. My favorite, moments came from Playboy Spence: the walls. What was he thinking putting that big ugly grafitti shit on the wall. You gotta talk about that first. I loved his rationalization that heidi had three other walls to work with. She must really love him, because the look on her face was priceless..it was like " i should've known and why me" all rolled into one. Next playboy is rollin in his car with brody when he told brody he was gonna propose and brody said what was on everybody's mind "you spencer, marriage, you can't even say that with as straight face" [cut to spencer's classic beavis and butthead grin] it was perfect.

Fantasy Baseball: So i was looking at the standings yesterday and the yankees are five games out and 14 games over .500. meanwhile the cards were 4.5 back and 4 games under .500, how does that happen. The central is so weak its pathetic. It seems like everyday I look at the standings and its cubs lose, brewers, lose, and cards win. And then I think about..if the cardinals pitching staff wasn't devastated they would be running away with this division. They are the world champs, and milwaukee and chicago are used to being mediocre. I think the cards will win the division because the other two clubs are resigned to not mattering. It makes me sad, when the cardinals lose, i get free tickets to the game. They're losing, but they're only 3.5 out so no free tickets. dammit. Oh, so the fantasy side...my team was in last place since march. We've sucked, but now people wanna play. I don't get it. Thats what i like about head to head- the regular season means nothing. Big moves: drop zito(he'll be back next year), j.j. hardy, and dontrelle...enter stage left: fausto carmona, erik bedard, the remergence of miggy and torii hunter. hopefully we can stay hot until the playoffs. Last year my team was nice and we fell apart in the end. we might be able to pull one out of a hat this time.

Can't wait for Big brother tonight....more on that tmw. but who knew heidi was in stuff

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Simpsonize Me

These don't work. Don't post them as your facebook pics. They do not. I REPEAT...DO NOT LOOK ANYTHING REMOTELY RESEMBLING YOU. case in point...

Friday, August 3, 2007

My Day In Court and RASHO

R. Kelly Double Up

I'm obviously devastated by the news the R. Kelly is going to court on child porn. Although, five years after the fact they are just now getting around to him so that tells me that they don't have that strong a case. I mean just look at how fast they swooped on ookie. Anyway, I wish kells the best. He made Ignition, and Ignition (Remix), chocolate factory, feelin on yo booty, sex weed, sex in the kitchen, sex planet etc. no one does remixes better than kells. not diddy. not anybody.

**Something that upsets me**
I hate the facebook status "Marci is ." Notice the space after the is. Thats not as deep as you think! it means you were too lazy to come up with something. Now I know I can't have my cake and eat it too as I equally hate people who put their status as "Marci is in the kitchen eating salad and then going to the fiji!" I hate hate hate bragging updates. i just move on and say what a d-bag.

I was upset to see Nick leave the big brother house last night. He got a raw deal with everyone thinking that he voted for Kail to leave when he truly did tow the company line. It was heartbreaking to see that danielle didnt even believe him. He'll be vindicated when they leave the house and find out he was honest. I was equally upset at Jen for allowing Jameka to take her off the chopping block. Its the smart move but she would drive the stake through Jameka's back if given the opportunity. it just makes you think.

Stephen A. Smith is on first and ten today.
Stephen A. Smith

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Movies and the Hills

The Hills Whitney Lauren Heidi Audrina

So...i'm a little sad that who's now is coming to an end. I hope they do this every year. It'll be one of those things that I look forward to every summer like wimbeldon, madden, and a new season mtv shows. Which by the way, I am very excited that the hills is coming back on the 13th. I'm kind of in love with audrina( far left), but heidi (2nd from right) is a close second because she is so stupid and easy to manipulate.

I saw the harry potter movie today. And I have to say that I didnt hate it. I didnt like the first or second one. I loved the third, and the fourth was alright. although, wtf is gillyweed. I'm not feelin it J.K. anyway, i didn't hate the fifth one, I wish I knew the name of it. The theater listed it as harry 5. how fitting, because i had no fucking idea what the point was. and why does(i know im spelling this wrong) voldamort like like michael jackson. and the parts where he's supposed to be creepy are actually really funny. oh well... thats one off the list. And in case you're keeping score at home:

Movies I have yet to see because I don't have any friends who like movies:
Samuel L. Jackson
1408- I warned you!!!!! (sam jackson is amazing, and crazy as hell, if only my friends appreciated him)
Catch and Release -Jennifer Garner, GrindHouse, Hostel II, Transformers, Simpsons
I think I know who killed me (not sure on the title, its a Lohan flick), Mr. Brooks, Chuck & Larry
Hairspray -Love amanda bynes
Pictured Above: Sam "fixing" christina ricci by chaining her to a radiator! look at his face! look how serious he is!