Wednesday, December 10, 2008

LinkedIn = New Facebook?

facebook vs. linkedinI mean, am I right? So how did this all begin you ask. Well not too long ago my friend told me to join and so I did, and he friended me. He told me about how great it was and how you could network, and the possibilities are endless, blah blah blah. Skip to 3 months later. A friend adds me! woot! So I check it, and I get draw in. I start seeing who else in on there. I check my contacts( I only have 2). But I look at their profiles and then I start snooping some more until I realize that I'm facebooking!!!

And so of course I check Sandy Miller, but she's not open to receiving invitations or InMails. Does that mean I shouldn't add her??? Cuz if you add someone you don't know you get punished. As if the shear humiliation factor isn't enough. Yes, they've upped the ante. If you get caught randomly facebooking connecting to people you don't know you have to start entering people's email addresses. This isn't bad if someone just gave you their card, but its def horrible for old friends or people you worked for a long time ago. Anyway, I'm so nervous that it feels like they've literally recreated facebook and tossed me back into freshman year mode.

Oh well, back to studing for finals. done tmw. hooray beer!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Gub'ment Cheese

katy perryFortunately I can't take credit for this title. I was listening to those music channels that no one listens to because they're terrible. But when this title popped up I had to turn the TV off mute. (why was the tv muted for a station that you can only listen to you ask? well because my roommate will sit over my shoulder and watch the tv unless I flip to another station. and he is literally entertained by anything. So a black screen was last resort..whoa-detour -----So good old gub'ment cheese. anyway, the song was as poor a quality as the title would suggest. Man, black people just can't catch a break. Juice is gone for nine, Plaxico shoots himself in da club and fucks up his leg, his money, his team, and most importantly my fantasy team. I needed that big go to go in the endzone. At least I have a bye though. But back to Plax, I don't get it. (Not why his momma named him Plaxico, that makes perfect sense, I'll explain some other time) But didn't Marvin harrison take a nine and go rat a tat tat on that ass earlier this summer? I guess the trick is to never say a word. To anybody. You don't have to tell him to remain silent.

So I was taking out the trash this morning, and coming out the back fire escape was this chick who really thinks she's tight, and I'm not gonna lie, she's got a nice body and she's cute, but her personality leaves a lot to be desired. So anyway, I caught her by surprise, she thought she was gonna sneak out to the dumpster, but ya man was there. To catch her in all her BUSTED glory. I wish I would have had a camera. I would have felt no shame in taking a picture. Yes, she was sooo busted, and it made me feel so good to see her face knowing she was busted looking busted. Now, I don't have anything against girls not always being at %100. It's cool, but she just has her nose in the air so its good to have this to hold over her head. It's the little things...

Now here's one...me and my friend were talking about how we can't wait to go to high school reunion together so we can sit back and make fun of people. People like LaRaisha. LaRaisha posted this as her facebook status
"LaRaisha had to put her cat to sleep. i have had him for 10 years. not okay about it."

Look, i'm not a monster that likes seeing people hurt. I really do hope she feels better. but here's the kicker. she did it from her phone. facebook mobile. what???? you couldn't wait until you got home!?! For reals bitch. I guess we all grieve differently. Oh no, STS thoughts creeping into my head. moving on...

What's up with Katy Perry's shorts? They bug me, and she's hot, she can pull it off, and I like looking at her legs. On second thought why am I complaining. I think i'm gonna listen to Hot N Cold now. i'm outttt

Saturday, December 6, 2008

I called it!/Power Trippin

So you know what bugs me? People that want power for the sake of having power. And now we've got a brother sister tandem in power. This is not good. Plus he's super creepy overprotective/attracted to her. I think that he wants to bang her, so he just makes excuses to be all over her all the time. But she does have big titties. I voted for her titties.
And I hate to say it. But the Britney Spears MTV special is really good. I'll admit, Jamie Spears (Dad) is scuzzy, I almost turned it off right at the beginning when he was making grits. Ugh. But It evolved into a great piece on how MTV blew her up to the point where she cant continue to be herself. That's the trade off though. If you want the fame there are sacrifices, but at the same time, you hate to see someone forced into a robot cookie cutter role for the sake of record sales. Just seeing them escort her out of the store with a curtain, and then having her compare it to Groudhog's day. Saying her life's not out of control, it's too in control! whoa! props for the reference Brit. You make a mistake and you move on, I feel you Brit. I really do.

P.S. Madonna cameo, sometimes she looks smokin, but there are other times where she looks every bit of 50 plus 12 years. Good luck ARod.

And here's one. You ever run into someone you don't particularly care for, or just dont want to talk to, but you do anyway because its polite. Sometimes I wish I had the balls to be like "you know what? I just don't have anything to say to you. Best of luck." and then just walk away. How awesome would that be right???

And I have been so busy I have not railed on audrina enough! seriously, how are you the victim? Here's what happened. JB def cheated with some blonde chick, just not LC. It's laughable. Doesn't audrina watch the hills. And it takes a lot. A LOT. to make Justin Bobby look like the voice of reason. btw: what is that thing on the back of her neck

Also, what is the deal with the new best week ever. That show used to be funny, but now with one guy its lost its uniqueness. Thats what made it funny was you had a ton of people telling jokes. Now with one guy they're trying to be the soup and there's no out Joel McHale-ing Joel McHale. or however you spell his name.

I just finished 4 major projects in 5 days. I feel so blessed. Plus I talked to my advisor and she cleared everything up for me. Man she's great. I know I've said this before, but God has put people in my life that I am sooo thankful for. Now just 3 finals and I can say "I'm Good!"

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

HOLLA AT ME!!!

Me! I'm ME!!! Email ME!!! (weezy voice) seriously, 2on2out@gmail.com
So lets recap-


I'm a sucker for:
1. Tina Fey
2. Sandra Bullock <-------(pictured) most likely to be my wifey
3. Amanda Bynes
4. Jodie Foster
5. Jessica Simpson

Love: Barry Bonds, NBA, MLB and Kelly Clarkson. I know. shenanigans

TV: Not even gonna go there, but guilty pleasures consist of the Hills, Big Brother, and Desperate Housewives!!!




And R. Kelly is with a doubt. THE WORLD"S GREATEST!

Today I was at this work party. And I was like, I don't know anybody here. So I bounced. But I stuck around long enough to end up in a few pictures so they can't prove I left early. note to self: those little brownies from trader joe are off the hook. uh oh, i'm bout to go upside the head of this spider with my nikes. peace

Monday, December 1, 2008

And We're Back!

I gotta know, what the %&$* is a coffee? Do you want a coffee? Can I have a coffee? No! nobody says can I have an apple juice? You sound like a first grader. So why do we let people say "a coffee" instead of a cup of coffee. It doesn't make sense. I don't drink coffee though, maybe its a coffee drinker thing.And why, why did this guy on the plane smell like mexican food and boo boo. And then he kept touching my arm. I conceded the armrest and was well within my space but he would keep rubbing his arm against me. I don't like the term, but I wanted to yell no homo so many times. I really wanted to hit him in his chest, but he seemed harmless. Anyway, back to the point about armrest. So there's three chairs DEF, and 4 armrests. So somebody has 2 armrests. right? yes. ok, so I think the person in the window seat should get two armrests. Its impossible to get out without inconveniencing two other people. Now a case can be made for the middle seat, but if you're in the middle seat why would you want to spread out and be all over both armrests. It doesn't make sense. But undoubtedly the person on the outside gets the outer armrest, so the next one goes middle, and then boom. two armrests for the window guy. end of discussion.

***Also, while I was on the plane I saw this flight attendant chick with a great ass, but she had to be at least 48.

And I was watching the Hills? Audrina, CMON!!!! Nobody wants Justin Bobby but you! This confirms that Audrina is crazy. I have to watch this episode again because Lauren's facial expressions v. Audrina's seriousness were so killer. Oh my, the Hills is back!

I have lots of work to do. I'm out

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Dex, Sook, and Vinny Chase

Dexter, Dexter, Dexter...I just don't know what to make of you anymore. But last time I felt this way the season turned in a dramatic way for the better. I will say this...I can't wait to see what happens next. Even though I think I pretty much have it all mapped out. I think knowing how it will inevitable end isn't bad because Dexter is about the journey. It's not like Lost where you can expect some huge shocking twist to end the season, It's about building the drama of how we got there. Sure there are twists and turns thrown out there, but Dex doesn't rely on them. So I guess that's a good thing. and here's one, is anyone else as afraid of Miguel Prado as I am??? If I saw Jimmy smits on the streets I would probably run the other way as fast as possible!

Oh Sookie, now I can't stress enough how "cheesy" this show is...but it's incredibly satisfying. They raised a couple new themes that really made me think about what they're trying to say about america today. And they're doing it with vampires. *sidenote* this silly bitch tried to trick me into seeing twilight. and I was like hell naw! she's clowned me a couple times and I have finally wised up. - I wanna know where my boy is at. Plus what is the deal with Michelle Forbes. She is so hot. (Alias, Battlestar, Lost) She's probably in something else to, but baby girl is smokin. Is she the devil? The show certainly alludes to that. And I can't wait to watch it again, because there are so many little clues cleverly tucked away and everything seems so obvious now. Man I love this show. I need to marry Michelle or Sookie.

And finally, Vinny Chase, it was good. but not great. Kinda like last year. Entourage is a show that has a story, but is a lot more about the jokes. It doesn't leave me longing for more. Well gotta run. Maybe I'll make it three in a row with a turkey day post. Oh, both my fantasy football teams came up big this week. Send Donovan and Jessica Simpson good vibes. aight homies, I'm out.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

30 Rocked!

Tina FeySo I just watched the last episode of 30 entitled "Gavin Volure" and it was crazy! I was rolling the whole time. which got me to thinking...Tina is absolutely gorgeous. I can't wait til I get to work with her. Because I know I will and I just gotta tune out the haters cuz as Kanye says, "It'll always be haters, that's the way it is, hatin niggas, marry hater bitches and have hater kids!" lol. Its true though. I'm trying to meet up with a friend of mine who's a hater, but because I've known her for so long I give her a pass. I think it's because at one point I wanted to beat, but whenever I got close to her she always smelled like cats. Not cute. But yeah, me working with Tina Fey, hosting SNL, maybe getting my own sitcom...ESPN, HBO, SHOwtime...I know my destination as Mr. West says, but I'm just not there yet...

Which brings me to 808s & Heartbreak. I have to admit, when I read that he wouldn't be rapping on this album I was severely skeptical. But Yeezy managed to deliver and there's plenty of hip-hop all-stars to fill out the disk. Including Weezy F. Baby. He does a lot of collabs to keep himself hot in between records. Mad props to the best rapper alive. Sorry Jay. Also just copped Theater of the Mind, and thinking about I Am...Sasha Fierce. That Halo track is fire!!! But I really like Luda's "Last of a dying breed" with Wayne. Nicely done.808s & HeartbreakSo what else, It's break. I'm at home. I've got a few targets on my radar at school, and besides my funky ass roommate things are great. I can't believe I just had my very first sketch comedy performance. I flubbed a couple lines, but no one noticed, and I got a lot of compliments from people that meant a lot to me. I can't wait for the next show! Oh, so my target closest Suzy Kolber, and my other is gabby, but there's a couple more chillin in the cut. I'm waiting for advice on how to move on these chicks. Well I'm out for now, but after I watch dexter, and the finales of entourage and true blood. I'll be back. But real quick Miguel Prado! Dexter you never cease to amaze me. and Kudos to Desperate Housewives for making me want to watch again. That's more than I can say for you Heroes....

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

THR33 RINGZ

Yes, T-Pain has done it. Look. The man is weird. Real weird. But he's almost Weezy weird. And that's why I like him. He's hood, but funny with it. And he really brought it with his new album. I hope he sells a ton of records, I actually have to buy it cuz I bootlegged it like everybody else. In my defense, his last two albums have been garbage. He had some hits, no doubt. But this is his coming out party. And on top of it being G.O.O.D. music, you will laugh. There are skits, and songs and you will laugh at both. HARD. I'm serious. This n*gga's album is off the hook.

Women Folk- I'm still trying. I might even be having some luck. But as my BFF says, girls at this school are masters of playing hard to get. Which sucks cuz this one girl is always coming by my room to chill. Then there's Melo 2, and we hit it off. But she stood me up Saturday so I don't know what to make of it. Plus the muthafucka acted like nothing happened. Never a good sign. Then there's Meg, she's kinda weird, and i need to get to know her better but she has some Tig Ole Bitties!!! And Finally we've got the twin towers. If I go for one, the other is out of the equation, adn its hard to isolate them one on one so I don't know who's interested more. And I'd be willing to go either way!

Our Comedy Group- I'm in this sketch comedy group, but here's the problem. There is a very real chance that people aren't going to laugh AT ALL. My thoery, they are going to come into this already pissed off because they have to pay six dollars. First of all, this should be free. We aren't tight yet. We can't act like we're tight. I know what you're thinking. You should believe in yourself. I DO! I believe! But I'm also a realist. I don't have much clout in the group yet so they don't really listen, and i'm the only black person so they have a very different sense of humor and cultural references. And then this one chick had the nerve to tell me that having a character named Tanisha Jenkins was racist. As a black person, I think its racist to say that there's something wrong with the name Tanisha or that it suggests anything. I think Tanisha is a real character.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

In other news...





I have been meaning to post for a while and its a shame that it took my funky ass roommate to get me to this point. good he left. and just took that nasty towel with him. ANYWAY...how about entourage. "Gotta Look Up To Get Down" was probably the best episode of the series in my opinion. This episode is what the heart of the series is all about. I have to admit, I was caught off guard by Vince's reaction to Ari's news, but it made a lot of sense.

And Dexter, man. I didn't know where this was heading. But Now I have a better Idea and this is why I love Dexter so much. Miguel Prado. Quinn. Deb. I'm curious who she's going to fall for next. Deb always seems to get involved with the wrong guys. But I have athing for Jennifer so I just like seeing her in whatever capacity. I honestly can't wait for sundays now. This, entourage and True Blood....

My newest guilty pleasure. How is such a cooky show so poignant?? I have no idea where the storiy could possibly go, but I love just going along for the ride. I have to say though, Jason's new girl is cold blooded. She seemed like a real hippie kinda chick, but now we are starting to see her true colors. I think even Jason was a little caught off guard by "the mask." Pretty much, If you aren't watching these three shows, you should. You can thank me later.

My Roommate sucks

Yeah. he's wack. So i've been trying to get along. I really have. And I only put up with his bullshit because I don't want him to bottle up his rage. Snap. And then, run up in my house and shoot my grandmother up as lil weezy would say. Yup, he's asian. And not the cool kind, but one of those weird ones that go on a shooting spree. So yes, i'm scared of a five foot 100 pound asian nigga. There. I said it. Anyway, when I get mean and lay down the law he acts like such a passive aggressive little bitch. But at least I get my way. But its the ones that take the beating lying down that scare me the most. It's like the rope-a-dope. So enough background. Here is my manifesto on why he sucks.

1. He stinks. period. This muthafucka smells like shit.

2. He closes the door and lets his stink permeate the room. When I get back from a long day its like Monique was doing the nasty and forgot to wipe. Its bad. And here's why. This nigga farts all day long. all day. I know his tidy whities are brown. they have to be! And I've heard at least one shart. that shit is gross. literally.

3. He's sick. All the time. constantly coughing and all this other bullshit. And he refuses to take medicine. Get this. He told me, that medicine doesn't help you get better. He must be on some of that Tom Cruise purple. As far as i'm concerned, black people have been taking robitussin for decades. And we still here!

4. He doesn't wash his clothes. He has a pile that spreads from one end of the room to the other that i'm constantly battling. It's like Von's monster has a brother. Or its evolved. And he just kinda picks something off the floor, wears it, and then throws it on the floor when he's done. He tried to tell me something about washing your clothes doesn't clean them. How can you argue with someone like that?

5. He has one towel that he washes with. ONE TOWEL! I don't think he takes showers (see number 1) but for the sake of argument lets assume he does. He has one towel to wash both his face. and his nuts. and he def doesn't wash the towel so he's def rubbing his nuts on his face at some point. but this is probably moot because like i said, i feel like he doesn't wash his balls.

6. I'm constantly spraying the room with oust and lysol and cleaning surfaces in order to not catch what he has. Its just tiresome. but i spray all his shit with lysol. even his food. i don't give a fuck. If your not going to wash your clothes or your sheet i'm going to disinfect them myself.

*7. He comes in and kicks his nasty sandals off in the middle of the room. And they always work their way over to my side. I'd strangle that nigga if I thought he didn't have cooties.

8. He's up all hours of the night. He never sleeps until its noon, or afternoon, until 8. So basically I have to be quiet whenever I'm here. Its like go to sleep. Duh nigga. Actually, sometimes I wake up and he's beating it. Like really going at it. Thats mad disrespectful yo. Don't be bustin nuts when I'm five feet away!

9. He's always here. It's like get a hobby dawg! you're a student. Why not mix in some office hours or your 10AM class every once in a while. But yeah. I wake up. He's here. I come back. He's here. I feel like he only leaves to eat and shit. thats it.

Basically, he's the wackest, funkiest, most triflin, shitteous roommate one could ask for. Hopefully I'll get my housing transfer soon.

What's his name? think batman's sidekick

*I just remebered this one moments after the post was made, because he just came in and did it.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Good Morning

Mondays aren't usually the best day of the week, but this one is right up there. I had a great talk with my professor today, and she really helped me out. Plus she's hot. That always helps.

But I've been thinking about something. Dexter. "Finding Freebo" marked the official start of season 3. Seriously, I was squirming around on my bed yelling at Dexter( like he could hear me) Trying to help him out of a tough spot. That's what I love about this program. They always make you feel on edge about what's going to happen next.

Is my roommate ever going to wake up. I feel like he eats, sleeps, plays videogames and goes to the bathroom. Other than that...he's here. I wake up, he's here. I go to work, come back, he's here. How does he not have anywhere to go?? This doesn't make sense.

I think I'll watch a Entourage before class. They just got picked up for season 6! oh yeah.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Back in Action



I can't let this fall by the wayside. I'm back at school so I have considerably less time, but that's just an excuse. You know what, I'm really mad right now, because almost a year to the date I have those THREE FUCKING RED LIGHTS AGAIN. Fuck me.

You know what show i'm reallly lovin. True Blood. "Who ordered the hamburger with Aids???" I love it. That Suki is truly something. She's played by the lovely anna paquin. (Remember rogue from X-men) She is really tight in a unique kinda way. She's blonde right now, which i think works a little better for her, but who am i kidding, i'd fuck regardless.)

I've got a couple chicks i'm working on. We'll see how it goes. Including one Hail Mary, that will almost certainly blow up in my face if I throw it. At least I have options, and i'm in this group, but the worst part is that I have actual responsibility. Three days to turn around scripts. hmm, we'll see how that goes.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Saturday Night Live



TINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tina is dead on as sarah palin. she has the accent and the hair. this is crazy. TheY could swap her out and no one would know! seriously if i didn't know that was tina....

Phelps is not funny,

I like swim cop though!
can he not read. is that the deal?

and amy poehler IS carrying the show. Hillary and phelps mom

break

kristen wiig...tiny gremilins

you knew they would do a swimming skit
phelps said like 2 words. it was just will forte dancing around. it was funny though. the crazy thing is that its happening live. he's making a fool of himself onstage in front of a live audience and the cast. its crazy but so cool

break
kristen has the best weird jerky movements

they're doing a good job of playing around him. again, he had like 2 lines

who the fuck is james franco

oh shit! they did a weezy tease. i can't wait!

i don't think he should have done got money. its cool though. he better come harder on his second song. cmon wayne. dont let us down weezy.

break

weekend update
amy is great

alaska pete. held that baby like the lion king.

nick feen

tremendous segment!

break

keenan got a sketch..charles barkley
darrell hammond and its not politcal.

well done keenan!

t-mobile, phelps was good in this one

shorts at the end??? what?? how did they not get wayne to help out. oh yeah, he had to go to court.

whoa, i dont like him. the new guy. quit bein black. phelps is settling in. he was nervous
this guy aint all bad. pepper monster lol!

wayne! lollipop, cmon man, thats old. i am officially disappointed weezy. you could have done sooo much. oh well, you had a tough week. you get a pass

phelps diet! genius

bravo. tina looked so fine. great night. and good luck.

The Premiere


Tonight is the first SNL of the season. I can't wait to see Weezy. Honestly, I feel like Michael Phelps will suck. Because when JB Smoove was talking to him on Jay Leno he seemed real nervous. You've gotta be able to just improv something on the spot and be goofy. We'll see, but I think they'll have to severely limit what he does and let the cast do their thing. Something i'm worried about, as Amy Poehler is the size of a planet and probably won't have her full load.

**I dodged Barry Zito, she's just not right for me. She wanted to watch SNL tonight, but i'm not having a white girl that I don't care about at my house.***

Paper Trail might be the hottest T.I. album since urban legend. I thought KING was great, but so far, every song on this album has been tight. And I love how he turned that wack numa numa song into a hit..so live ya life! hey!!!!

Julie Benz was hottt on Chelsea Lately. At first I was like, she's cute, who is she. and then when they said Dexter I was blown away. I think they don't put make-up on her to play Rita. Its kinda like the women of the office. I can't wait for season 3 of Dexter. I am trying so hard to avoid spoilers. Which brings me to my next point...

Weeds has sucked this season. No little boxes, No Conrad & Helia, no U-turn. The show isn't funny. There's hardly any weed at all. Seriously what has the show become. Maybe they should burn it all down again and start anew for next year. I hope Dexter is better than this. And I'm pretty sure it will be. I think the botwin crew needs to move back to agrestic. And get rid of those spoiler intros. I hate em.

Friday, September 12, 2008

The House Bunny and Anna (Oh, Anna)


Anna Faris is Great.

I loved her in scary movie, and she introduced me to (and got me hooked on) entourage. Then I saw the movie smiley face on ONDemand, which was great. And that inspired me to go see the House Bunny. I've been meaning to see this for a while, but I loved the movie. It was stupid, but in a funny way. And the film managed to make me care, I was actually emotionally invested in seeing the characters do well. That's what surprised me so much. This movie has heart. And the jokes are stupid and cutesy but a lot of times just Anna Faris' facial expressions are enough to have you cracking up. Go see the House Bunny. There are playmates. Tons of beautiful women. And Anna's ass. Which was great. Unless she had an ass double. But I will just hope that was hers. *Oh, fyi, Rumor Willis is a butterface.* Yes, her body is banging. Plus Kat Dennings is a cutie. And buy it on DVD too. I can't wait for her next project. Pleassssse be on entourage this sunday.anna's ass. yes its great.

kat is always cuterumor has an incredible body. trust me. its just that face...

Fanny Pak

They are just amazing. They are a group. A real group, no stars, just a solid group. And they are everybit as good as the jabbawockeez and supercr3w. They're just different. And that's what makes them so hot. Now here's where the craziness starts...I was just saying to my girl "I wish I could have Fanny Pak in my life everyday." Just performing out of nowhere. Like "we now interrupt the hills to bring you a performance by Fannk Pak!" and then, this song is stuck in my head. And thennnnn, Fanny Pak performs that song at the VMAs!!! of course they won, it was Damaged by Danity Kane. The one before that was When I grow Up, and that was hot too.


Brady!! Done for the year! and so is my fantasy team. I mean, I'm happy he's done because the pats are the most heinous shitteous team on the planet. They are the slumlords of the NFL. Despicable prosperous bastards.

Keesha, got voted out! wow was she mad, and Dan has played the most incredible game this year. His secret alliance with Memphis has been nothing short of pure genius. Putting memphis on the block...TWICE..hiding the tracks of the secret alliance. If they hadn't won every big competioin down the strecth(which they did) nobody would have voted to break them up. It was so perfect in every way. And dan chose the exact perfect time to come clean to Keesha about his beach trip with Michelle. The thing is, April, Ollie, and Jerry will vote for Memphis to win. But Keesha, Michelle and Renny will probably vote for Dan. Which leaves Libra, and she has such a fuckin bad attidtude. I expect her to be real shitty when the jury gets to question the renegades. Anyway, incredible season, with an incredible end. Two summers in a row now. I see you Julie Chen.

p.s. anyone else notice how cbs scrapped the america's player thing when they wised up to Dan being weird. I wondered how they thought they could pull that off again. anyway

p.p.s. Keesha appeared topless in this low budget film. fyi, her tits are wack. Looks like she got them done for big brother. Its crazy how tits can make a chick hot. here's the youtube link, get it while its hot

The Hills!!! Is keeping the hits coming. First of all, the Vegas trip, why was Brody so mean??? I've never seen him be such a douchebag. Not cool Brodmeister. And Spencer, to just blantantly lie to Heidi's sister and tell her she needed to leave. The best part was when he told heidi "you're not the bad guy here." LOL! I don't get it. I don't get him. I don't get them. I need to get to LA and rescue heidi. Although, when I get to be on the Hills i want to be Stephanie's crush. Yup, I'm off Lo, she's too mean. And LC, I could get doug'ed up real quick. But say what you want about the girl, you can't have a better friend in your corner than LC.
And Fantasy baseball is getting tight. Two of my three teams contending for the crown, and another competeing for a medal. Hopefully these moves work out. And I hope Rick Ankiel gets busted for roids.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

She make the people say...



Yeahhhhh, I have that song stuck in my head. I'm glad I figured out how to download it and put it on my Ipod.

Man, I really love these live big brother feeds. I could sit and watch these for hours. I'm glad the renegades have managed to secure their spot in the final four. This is incredible! But here's what I don't get. Keesha is fineee. But her face is busted sometimes. Its like she's dirty or something. And if she didn't have various "assets" I don't know if I'd be crushin on her as much.

And about this heroes game. It certainly isn't a better show than LOST. I'm about ten episodes in and I thnk the only reason I'm still watchin is Hayden Panettiere. MMM HMMM. Oooh, I can't believe it!

And Barry Zito. I still can't figure her out. She invited me to her Barack Obama job, which I promptly declined. And don't get me wrong, I'm not a McCain man, but situations like that are very stressful. I feel like I wouldn't be able to kick it with her anyway. I gotta figure out how I'm gonna play this. Maybe I should ask Paris.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Chicken Biscuits, Big Brother, and Theriot


Season 2 is HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BOOM. It took me long enough. I don't know what I'm doing. A couple updates on my life. I ran into my doppleganger at a club. I thought we were gonna tear open a wormhole in the universe. It was crazy. He was def bizzaro-me. And I am totally getting Barry Zito by ingoring her. She is jockin me sooo hard. I just need to keep from having feelings for her, because as soon as I do I know she'll burn me.

Live Feeds, Jerry thinks he's going to compete in HOH competition. Thats hilarious. What a moron. He's so cock right now. Memphis was right on. I don't know who I want to win. I want to see Memphis, Keesha, and Dan as the final three. I've really enjoyed this season. I think that BB8 was probably the best, but this season is right up there after All-stars.


Ok, this chicken biscuit business is killing me. These McDonald's commercials are ridculous because they are so serious, but cmon. What kind of person prepares their whole life for a fuckin Chicken BISCUIT!

Theriot. Or The Riot as everysportscaster in america calls it. Like they invented that nickname. We get it. And Joey Fatone was the fat one from NSYNC. Is everybody happy now????

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Where have I been?


I dunno, in a weird place I suppose. I've been wheeling and dealing in my fantasy league. Seriously, I have made so many trades. I finally got rid of carlos quentin and honestly, not a moment too soon. Sure he's blowing up now, but he's wildly inconsistent and he's killing my average. I like where my team is going, but who knows? So yeah, I've dealt, Mclouth, Lidge, Quentin, Ludwick, Reynolds, Greinke, Tejada , Hamilton, and hopefully I've set myself up nicely. We shall see. Honestly, Its hard being in a roto league and a head to head league because they really require different approaches. In a roto league you can have inconsitency, but not so much in head to head, because the even keel is overvalued. I mean, if you have one bad week its over. But the good thing is, if you have one bad week during the season its over. With roto its sticks to you. Like a bad hangover. It just doesn't go away.

So New York goes to Hollywood. Will I watch...probably. No scratch that. yes. Of course I'm gonna watch it. And I'm also really liking G's to Gents. I can't Believe Marcellus, yes, Big Brother marceluss managed to parlay his 15 minuted into being a celebrity stylist. Good work man. Maybe that means I'll blow up.

And Dark Knight was really good. I wanted to hate it. Because everyone loved it so much. And intially I was like, it was ok. But I think it was a great movie. and Heath did a great job. But I'm not gonna just hand him the oscar because he's dead. Ok that was a bit mean, but if he did the best job, give him the oscar. I just have to see the other nominees first.

And I finally got my new Ipod. But lost my flash drive. I think somebody in the office took it. And Sandy Miller. oh Sandy. You complete me. Stay tuned for season 2. Yeah we got renewed. Like the hills on August 18th. I shall return. Sometime before the end of the month anyway.

Friday, July 4, 2008

usa! USA!

Happy 4th of July!! I wanted to go to this Joss Stone Concert soo bad, but nobody likes her. I feel bad for joss, but more for me, I wanna go. Oh well, I guess I'll just watch some wimbledon. Venus vs. Serena, I can't wait. I think Venus will win though. She looks a lot better, and much more dominant than Serena. Plus, Serena wins US, Venus wins Wimbledon. End. of. Story.

Ok Whoa! I love Agent 0. But Gilbert Arenas getting a 111 MILLION, dollar deal for six years. (A millie, a millie, a mille, a Millie!!) He missed almost of of last year. He missed the playoffs the year before. Can he stay healthy. I hope so, but I don't think a guy who hasn't won a playoff series has justified this type of cash.


And I just heard this
for the first time yesterday, and its stuck in my head. If you haven't heard, Shan Foster shook up the NBA Draft world by producing and starring in his very own NBA Draft song. But wait, its genius, and inspiration all rolled into one light bouncy tune. Believe me, you'll find find yourself singing this at some point today.

Honestly, how can you not get behind this guy? The NBA wouldn't have as much of an image problem if it marketed more guys like him. And it obviously worked, because he won over Mark Cuban, getting picked by the Mavs in the second round. Well I'm out, I think I'm gonna go create Shan in nba 2k8, and watch him slaaaammmmm.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Breakfast at Wimbledon

Wimbledon is here. And I love it. Dechy put up a good fight today. I was very impressed. Thats why I love this tournament. I'll admit thought, I'd much rather watch the women play because its more about skill and not just pure power most of the time. I'll watch blake and federer, but I'll watch any of the woman. And I don't see why everybody is jockin Ivanovic so much. She's like Kerry Collins in my book.







*wow, so after i wrote this, ivanovic got eliminated, blake and roddick tanked, and sharapova...awww, got the boot. i saw her match, and she was lookin fine. i will not be happy that she won't
be around for the second week.*

You know what rocks. NERD. their album is fire. the tracks i've been listening to anyway. sooner or later/love bomb/yeah you/laugh about it/what it is/ They have at least six smooth tracks that I really like.

And my blog is off the ground at fox. So lets check in to ABDC...Fanny Pack was Hot! But Supreme SOul destroyed everybody!!!!!!!! with touch by omarion

I gotta get focused over here.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

A Beauttiful Day

It really is. And so unexpected too. I just walk outside and realize that its 74 degrees. I'm in the shady, the birds are chirping, It honestly doesn't get any better than this.

On Friday June 13th, 2008 Robert Sylvester Kelly was aquitted by a jury of his non-peers!!!!!!!!!!! "Non-peers" because as the "World's Greatest," Kells is by definition peerless. -Razzy

I need to get tickets to the baseball game, so I can take Jodi out. I think she'll like it, but I mean, she's impossible to read.

The happening...can't wait to see it, and i want to see Zohan, and Get Smart. Anne Hathaway is so fucking Hot. She's still under the radar in my opinion. But i'm guessing after this movie that'll be all over. This summer is seriously packed with movies. And I just saw the sneak trailer for pineapple express and I just wanna see it for Seth Rogan jumping off a building. You know what I don't get though...just about every good movie out this summer is rated R. How are you gonna make money if the young teens with tons of disposable income can't see it. I dunno, I guess thats why I'm not a mive exec. although I'd make a damn good one.

Weeds!!! I should be able to check out the first episode today on demand. Sometimes I hate charter, but its days like these that i'm willing to look past their monopoly.

And Battlestar!! No more until 2009. Thats a bold move to leave us finally at earth. The sole driving plot of the entire franchise. But I'm curious as to how Kara is somehow the harbinger of death. And where the fuck is the final cylon. Already on earth is my guess. Oh well, I'll be waiting.

And who keeps letting their dog shit in my yard???? I swear if i see you, it's over for you. and your dog. boom...outta here.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Is Tamra Home?


If you ever hear these words, RUN! Better yet, find a gat, and cap whoever asks you this. Don't think, just *pop* *pop*! For real, the strangers was a great movie. It's not gonna win any awards because the stuck up hollywood types don't appreciate shit. In my opinion, I would put funny games, and strangers on par with No country for old men. I don't get it, maybe I'll do positive awards this year to go along with the wack awards.

Lil wayne...doesnt get half the press he deserves. Why the fuck do white people and news outlets constantly tell me that kanye is releasing an album, but you never hear about weezy's shit from mainstream outside of those who know hip-hop. Honestly, I feel like its because people are afraid of wayne. And wayne is probably the best rapper out there, but he doesn't fit that corporate image. Diddy did it, Jay did it, Kanye looks the part, but wayne is too street, like 50 but at least black people know whats up.

Rob & Big shirt...came up big for me. Some girl out the clear blue sky was like, "I really like your shirt." And then she told me all about how she was a fan of the show. See thats whats up. Wg's that appreciate black men. I gotta find me some more of these. Too bad they live in St. Charles.

The New Mole...is interesting, I like it, but it isn't as smart as the first two moles. Its on par with the celebrity ones. I will however, give Jon Kelley his props because he is great as a host replacing Anderson Cooper. Anyway, I am 100% sure that paul is not the mole. And I'm pretty sure it ain't Nicole. Other than that. I'm clueless and thats just how I like it.

Toni Collete...is smoking hot. You know, the mom from little miss sunshine. Anyway, she's getting a new series about some mom with multiple identity disorder or some shit. It should be pretty wild. And if showtime is involved, it should be pretty good.

Greg is GONE!...(He Gone) from the real world house. I don't know though, I'm kinda sad to see him go. Not because I feel bad for him. But he was the only one stirring things up in the house. What will entertain us now that greg isn't around to steal panties, rub house mates toothbrushes in grease, or call girls associates. Goodbye chosen one. your ignorance will be missed.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Carter III (C3)!!!!!!


It's here. Yes I downloaded the leak, but unlike a bunch of thieving niggas i'm actually gonna cop the album next week. But It's hot, In my opinion Carter II was hotter than the Carter. And thats sayin a lot because the Carter was a hot album, Go DJ! So I was worried about a possible letdown. The Goldmember of the Austin Powers series if you will. But now, It's here. And I'm still bangin C2 thats how hot weezy is. Kanye may be the biggest rapper on a pop world kinda level, but strictly Hip Hop, weezy is the best rapper alive. I remember when he used to say that I was like, yeah, I guess I can kinda see that, but Weezy is. The Best Rapper Alive. Carter III, I'll be listening to this for a long while. I'm so happy right now. I'm gonna get back to vibing to this for a bit before work.

And my girl, who I have yet to come up with a clever nickname for is amazing. She just keeps getting better. Like Lebron. The best is certainly yet to come on that tip. Summer might be wack, but at least I got my job and my girl. And hopefully I'll turn this around into a nice recommendation and get a job workin for my girl Tina Fey!

My fantasy teams are just kind cruising along to. I'm where I wanna be I just have to make a push sooner or later. I'm wondering whether or not I should deal Arod in two of them? Can I get better value for him. They are head to head leagues so I'm thinking it might be possible. I just have to find somebody who wants to overpay.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Jeremy Bentham...There's No Place Like Home


Busy Day. Like Really Busy. Why am I so busy? Ahh, because I procrastinate.

I had to cut the grass. I looked like an Islamic Terrorist but i did it, and I didnt get sick. Yay! My Dad is always bugging me about getting an allergies test, but I don't need one. Everytime I cut the grass I become deathly ill. its like, duh nigga

LOST was amazing. I had to wait until the day after, but It was everything I hoped for. The only problem is I know what next years season finale will be. The mystery wont come into play until season 6, when they get back to the island. This whole flash-forward thing might not have been a great idea by the writers. we'll have to wait until 2010 to see how this plays out.

At the grocery store. Why is everyone so ignorant. Ok first I put my shit at end of the counter there was literally 6 inches of space behind my loaf of bread and this lady comes up behinf puts the little divider thing right next to the bread. almost squishes (squashes?) it a little and piles a shit load of groceries a mile high in this six inch space. and we're in the 12 items or less line. dumbass. and why why..i mean it never fails, i had the whole space between my loaf of brad and the ladies last item. I waited until it was the last thing before I put my shit on the counter. But when it gets up to the line,..about five seconds after she swiped the last item...she's like, is this your bread. No bitch. how fuckin retarded are you? I know you're a 42 year old checker but cmon. pay fuckin attention bitch! *too mean?


Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Get the ball rolling

I'm tired of this "new" baseball home run controversy. Seriously, I think its just that we're paying more attention to it than we have in past years.

Rising:
My Jodi Lerner

Falling: Who does Carlos Beltran think he is? He can't call out the manager as a reason of frustraion when he can't even get his act together at the plate. You make way too much to be hitting .260 bud. Btw douchebag, you're killing the team chemistry on my fantasy squad. Don't complain about being on the bench if you're not going to produce.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Memorial Day!

Just saw Indiana Jones today and it was amazing. I loved the entire movie. It's been a while since I've seen the flicks but that feeling you get the first time you watched an Indy movie, well its still there. But better! I'm not gonna make any comparisons, but I hope they make another one. I'm sure they won't, but I hope they will.

Rising: Indiana Jones

Falling: Danica Patrick

Is it just me, or is she a major douche bag. Like seriously, she's always whining. And then she wins one time and everybody makes a big deal out of it. She is fine, She is sooo fine. But every time she opens her mouth she comes off as a prick. I could not imagine hanging out with her. All of her interviews are painful to watch, because I want to drool over her, but she's just so abrasive. You can take your top off, but if your endeavors don't including posing for playboy I am not a supporter.

Battlestar is getting really good. one word. JUMP! it was that serious. I can't wait for friday. And looks like I've gotta get that VCR up and running thursday because I have to work. I know. My personal douchebag/supervisor is making me come into work that night. Thats so wack. what would Indy do???

Friday, May 23, 2008

May Maddness

So whats up? Not much around here. I just got done watching the L word season 5!!! it was incredible, I can't wait to see where they go from here. The crazy thing is I had access to it all along. Thank goodness for on demand, as it turns out if you have the channel you can get pretty much all the shows. score! i'm re-watching weeds right now. I think the new season starts next month actually. Its a very slow developing show, but its smart, funny, and a nice 30 min diversion to your week. Anyway, OMG I love those girls, or lez girls.

I need to hear back from SHOwtime.

I got a postcard from my girl today. I need a clever nickname for her although she didn't seem too thrilled about the possibility of her having one. It would make shit a lot easier though. Especially since I'll probably end up marrying her, or at least getting her pregnant. Gucci!

Lebron is done. boo, the playoffs are pretty lame now actually. I just want Kobe to lose. Thats the only compelling thread left.

I need LOST i NEED it. And wtf is up with Hulu having the never to not put up Battlestar the day after it airs. assholes, looks like im gonna need to find a VCR.

So i a nutshell, I'm bored. I don't start work until next week, and I don't even have a paying job. wack.

Bright spot, my fantasy baseball teams are starting to come into their own. I could totally be a GM. I just need to figure out how to unload tejada. alright, well i'm out until next time

Monday, May 5, 2008

Haha


Yeah, I got almost all of my drama out the way and I'm ready for what will hopefully be the most kick ass summer ever. Oh, I got featured by razzy today. I sent her an email about Angelique "I want have some zex in ze pool wit Bret" Morgan. And she totally wrote a piece about it. Maybe there's hope for me yet as a contributor.

I gotta cut the grass today. Bummer. IT needs it though. Its pretty bad. And I have to ask the rents for 500 dollars for a plane tickets to go visit some friends. Should be pretty wack. But actually I think I've found just the right time to hit up pops because he's unusually happy. This only comes around once maybe twice a year so you have to be ready to pounce.

Barack, C'mon dawg, you really fucked up today calling Matt Lauer Tim. You know its gonna be all over youtube and Bill O. And you don't need this right now. I don't know how Hillary's doing, but it looks like she's whoopin that ass. Actually, it kind of makes sense. Hillary is lengthening the game. Barack bum rushed her and got a huge lead. But hillary has slowinly chipped away. And its like when 60 mins was up Hillary was like no, we're going to keep playing forever. ANd even the giants couldn't hold off the patriots forever. They just ran out of time.

The Hills will be on today, and I have to cherish each episode because I never know if its my last.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Baby Mama Drama

Baby Mama was everything I expected and more. Tina did it again! She didn't write it (which sucked) and she couldn't add anything(cuz of the strike) but all in all i couldn't have asked for anything more. She is so hot. seriously. A woman that can have you rollin at all times of the day. I think i'm gonna marry her. On the real though I can't wait to see the box office gross.


The Shape of things to come was perhaps the best episode of Lost i've ever seen. I heard something about the shape of Lost fundamentally changing for the next two seasons. I mean after they get off the island who knows how they can keep it an interesting show, but i have no doubt they will.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Where Amazing Happens

It was a Great Basketball Weekend. The Wizards look terrible. The Pistons look lazy. The nuggets look defeated. And the Mavericks look soft. The only unwatchable series in orlando/toronto. nobody wants to see that garbage. So Gilbert, How can you call lebron james overrated and then just get dominated? Lebron looks brilliant while even gilbert arenas looks mediocre by comparison. And I now realize just how annoying reggie miller is. And DeShaun Stevenson is now the most ignorant ass on that team. How did Tim Duncan make that three??? i know that nigga has magnets.

Just caught up on DWTS. Can't get enough of Marlee Matlin. Can't put my finger on it. But she is hottttt. Somethin about her commitment....So apparently word is getting around my friend group that I have a crush on this deaf girl. which i do. but they think the only reason I hang out with them is because I'm tryna get close to that girl. which i'm not. i'm actually just bored thats all.

OMG its so hard to avoid spoilers for the 5th season of the word. There are bajillions of posts that in the little teaser tag tell you everything. Its like "L word season 5: jodi gets shot. tasha returns. shane leaving." like wtf! cmon, let me watch the show! the problem is that the show is primarily watched by lesbians and everybody knows bitches can't keep anything to themselves*.



*note: this goes for all bitches. bitches love to talk. thats why they're always mad that you don't call enough. trust, if you told her something just realize that someone else now knows as well

Friday, April 18, 2008

Tremors

You know what, I love made, i really do! There was a baseball one, I just caught the end of it, but i can't wait to see it again. And another episode is about to come on right now. What was really cool was one i saw over the weekend that was a tap/ballet combo episode. MTV really out did themselves. I feel like MaDE is a show thats extremely compelling. I like watching people succeed though. That works for me.

What doesn't work for me is these earthquakes. They're pretty wack. I thought the bathtub was going to come crashing down on my head. Maybe it'll make for an interesting weekend. Cuz it's lookin pretty wack right now. Next week though. Baby Mama!

I cannot wait for the NBA playoffs this weekend. I got the Suns, Cavs and of course my nuggets. Even though ya'll don't play any D, lets whoop Kobe. which leads me to my girl...Cobie Smulders. She's Canadian, a brunette, funny, and that tomboy thing going on. I think It's safe to say that I have a type. Just look at her, does she remind you of any of the other women I've fawned over...