Friday, August 14, 2009

He's Backkkkkk!!!

Welcome Michael Vick. Yes, The man who's graced the top banner from the beginning of this blog has a team. The EAGLES of all teams. This can't get any better. I was worried that he'd be signed by the panthers or worse yet the patriots. (barf) Speaking of the pats, I can't believe turtle didn't give him a piece of his mind on entourage. Plus he looks as good as the 07 version which is pretty scary.

I have no idea how Vick will be utilized, but I think they'll find an interesting way to have him on the field with Donovan McNabb. And I don't think it'll be in the wildcat formation. Also, those peta degenerates need to get a life. How about people for the ethical treatment of people? Hmmmm, stop worry about trying to get fido better tasting kibbles and bits and worry about getting people health care. Geez....

But the person who BY FAR is happiest about the michael Vick signing is none other than Rick Pitino. Don't think I've forgotten about you. Having sex in a restaurant, at a table, while your assistant is passed out a few feet away. WITHOUT A RUBBER! That's the real crime. Cmon man.....Focus. Adultery is an art form. Poor style Pitino.

Monday, August 10, 2009

I see you Stack! Part II

Looks like Jerry is up to his old tricks. This man is always in the wrong place at the wrong time. FLASH BACK!


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Lame Summer Days

Man. I am bored. Bored and Angry. Bored because there is nothing to do in St. Louis, and Angry because my Fantasy League is going to shit. I told all those assholes that Rotisserie leagues will continue to play out the same way until the end of mankind. One team jumps out to an incredible lead and by august the league is essentially over. This year it was over by the all-star break, which means it was REALLY over by the end of june....JUNE. that's april, may, june, three months, of a 180 day season. That's wack. And here's the kicker. I bitched the entire off-season about how we needed to switch to head to head to keep it fresh and everybody shot me down. Well fuck that type of league, I'm out for good. And fuck them for not paying attention. Also, I have to deal with people who won't trade because they get a little excited when their team does well for one week. It's a business, you have to see what's sustainable growth and what's mearly a mirage. I can't wait til this one fucking team implodes on itself and then I'm going to rob him of all his players. Should be fun. Won't matter one bit in the standing, but I'm going to do it anyway to prove a point.

Now, let's move away from the other managers and call out the fucking gutless assholes that have been killing my team.

KEVIN GREGG- Occupation: Professional Dick rider/ Closer / Dream Killer- In the last week he has an ERA of 20. He threw two pitches sunday both of which were launched a combined 847 feet in a ridculously empty ballpark.

BJ UPTON: Occupation: Slut/ Center fielder / Cock Tease - A slut/cock tease may seem like a natural contradiction, but let me explain. This muthafucka is ranked 16 overall. and isn't doing shit. He has no power. He refuses to run. And his average is around the .240 mark. What really pisses me off is that I've had him 2 years in a row and he's fucked me twice. I bet next year he hits 50 HRs and steals 100 bases, because he is such A fucking CUM DUMPSTER. You could call him a young Mariah Carey. And speaking of Jizzhounds.
CARLOS LEE: Occupation: Cum connoisseur(num num num)/ Left Fielder /? - Carlos has picked it up lately. But a jizz junky is always 1 hard dick away from falling off the wagon. I'm tired of his bullshit. He follows up 5 RBI games with 0-4 stinkers. My goodness.

Well that was cathartic