Thursday, November 11, 2010

Breaking News: MC Hammer Ends Beef With HOV

In a shocking turn of events, what some are calling the "7 Days War" is over. Stanley Burrell (left) has decided to accept Sean Carter's unwillingness to respond to his diss record. Things became heated after King Hammer heard Jay's verse on Kanye West's "So Appalled" in which Jigga stated that he "lost 30 mill so he spent another 30, but unlike hammer 30 million can't hurt me." King Hammer immediately struck back with the number one Dance-Diss Record in America, "Better Run Run." King Hammer took personal swipes at Jay like "Naw naw, I don't rock your wear!" He even includes harder jabs that still resonate like "that boy tried to steal my swag, I saw the prints all over the bag!" No word yet on if Jay-Z ran ran and told Beyonce. But he did tell DJ Semtex, "I didn't know it wasn't on the table for discussion, I didn't know I said anything wrong." Well apparently that was good enough for Stanley, because the beef is officially over. Now you can run run and tell THAT!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Cause all da bitches love me

Since Allen Iverson has been banished to Istanbul, I've had to find a new favorite point guard to call my own. DONE.

Not to mention the fact he dunked on Jerry Stackhouse.

W. -Cmon Son!

George, fuck you doin in Africa? You must really be trippin off that Rangers loss, cuz you know damn well you ain't got no friends in Africa. Especially not the brotha in the right-hand corner

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

You played yourself Part 2

Brad Childress...You played yourself. First of all, you went down to Mississippi to beg a 40 year old man to play football for your team. I mean cmon man, at least consider how it looks for a 54 year old man to beg a 40 year old man to please play for him. Then that same dude Jedi Mind tricks you into paying him 7 million more dollars when you know damn well he got a busted up ankle and an arthritic elbow. So then you go and get Randy Moss. Like you didn't know he was the type to flip out if you serve him lasagna on the Friday preceding an even numbered year's general election before 2:56 pm and after 4:18 am Hawaiian time when he's wearing his blue socks. I mean duhhhhh! Look, You knew that n*gga was Bi-Polar before you gave the Patriots your 3rd round draft pick. Don't try to act like Randy was a bad fit. You knew what you were getting, and quite honestly, you only played yourself.

You Played Yourself Part 1

Jerral "Jerry" Wayne Jones...(yeah I wiki'd ya name) You Played Yourself ! A buddy of mine who worked out for your team once told me that you "smelled like money." Now I know you didn't get that way from being stupid, but you went out and spent all that money on a top of the line stadium, that is absolutely gorgeous, and your team is 1-6. PAUSE. I mean, real talk, that's like if an NBA player went out and bought a billion dollar house, got a phantom in front, but still ain't fuckin no model chicks. I don't know where to start. It's pretty bad when after each game Wade Phillips just throws his hands in the air and gives that "is he really gonna force me to coach the next game?" look. The Cowboys are undisciplined. Your team starts hittin dougies and high fivin if they win the coin toss. It's gotten to the point where I'm pretty sure every Sunday JaMarcus Russell watches the game while sipping some codeine in his living room and thinks to himself "Man the cowboys are garbage."

And quick shout out to Cowboys really gonna boo a man that ain't started a game in 2 years!?!? You mad or somethin???

Monday, November 1, 2010

Trap Games

"In the trap with some Killas and some Hood N*ggas...Where you at? Where's your trap, you ain't Hood N*gga." -Waka Flocka aka Flockaveli excerpt from "Hard in Da Paint"

Sunday at Ford Field, as Usher would put, the Redskins got caught up.
I don't even know where to begin. Is it the 37 points allowed, no. We're not going to bury the lead. There are very few things my cousin understands well. For instance, he truly believes that Waka Flocka is a great rapper. *BLANK STARE* All I'm going to say about waka is that it's a good thing that n*gga rhymes with N*gga or he'd be finished. Anyway, my cousin is only 12, but he plays madden and he does understand that Rex Grossman sucks. Back in 06, (when he loved playing with the bears) we made a rule that if Rex Grossman is subbed in the game due to injury we're allowed to quit no questions asked. Cut to 2010 & Mike Shanahan inexplicably subbing in Rex Grossman to lead the team to victory. Then, out of nowhere, Rex Grossman goes Rex Grossman on the very first play.

I don't think people can really appreciate how clutch that was for Rex. I mean, imagine if somebody just goes up to you and says, "ok, be funny." Pretty difficult spot right? Rex comes in cold, and gives us vintage Rex in one take. I mean even Bron's 60 minutes half court shot has to give him props. Kudos Rex, you only get one shot. Do NOT miss your chance to blow!

Look. As Ochocinco said on the T.Ocho show--(quality tv if you're not watching btw)--"if anybody thinks that Rex Grossman gives they team the best chance to win, then they need to slap theyself!"

I may post the numbers later, but there's no comparison. Just off the top of my head, McNabb has 24 fourth quarter comebacks to Grossman's 0. (Romo also has a goose egg.) McNabb has never finished a season with more INTs than TDs and Grossman has done it 4 times. 6 Probowls. Is in the top 3 at protecting the ball among quarterbacks through his career. Has thrown nearly 200 more TDs than Grossman. Grossman btw has thrown more INTS 36 than TDs 33 for his career, and that's not even getting at the biggest problem.

His SUPPORTING CAST! It's eerily similar to the Rush Limbaugh days when people would say McNabb was the problem even though he had no weapons. Even Todd Pinkston (video below) thinks it's a good idea to cut McNabb some slack. Who can McNabb throw to in Washington? Ryan Tourain is the running back. The O-line is garbage. You get four milliseconds of protection and then the ball has to be out, or you need to run for your life. Which he did, 4 carries for 45 yards, which by the way LED THE TEAM IN RUSHING. Good work Running backs! You're right Mike Shanahan, the guy on 2 bad hammy's...he's out of shape.

The receivers are Chris Cooley(ok fine), Anthony Armstrong (who?), old ass Santana Moss, and an older ass Joey Galloway. What you know about "big game" Keiland WILLIAMS!!!??? All I'm sayin is, every time McNabb drops back it's like watching a scene out of the Hurt Locker. Is he gonna defuse the bomb in time? or does he just need to give up and try to escape the blast radius? It's compelling to say the least...

Classic Pinkston.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Monday, October 4, 2010

Quiet time

I was talking to my friend and he brought up something I noticed, but never really thought about. When people talk shit on twitter or facebook about how great their team is, if their team starts to trail they SHUT THE FUCK UP. Remember the girl I told you about before, yeah, her timeline went radio silent right about the time the redskins got up 14-0. HAHA! I love it, but my other friend who is a Colts fan and tweets every first down was SUUUUPER quiet yesterday. At first I thought my twitter wasn't updating but then I checked the game, and saw they were trailing the Jags 14-7, and then it hit, yup, people tend to SHUT THE FUCK UP when their team is trailing.

Donovan did it! I can't believe this. I am so happy right now! Words just can't describe how good it felt to beat the eagles.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Who can you trust?

I'm trying to win a survivor league and maintain my perfect status as I am 2 for 2 in past leagues. I've always won for a couple of reasons, and I've decided to share them today.

Never pick a team that you root for. It clouds your judgment.

Avoid picking a division game if you can. These teams play each other so much that no one has a real advantage, and the more you play someone the harder it is for one team to keep winning.

Beware the winless/terrible team at home. I'm pretty sure 99% of all big special teams plays for bad teams liked blocked FGs, punt/kickoff return TDs happen at home. You don't need that.

Don't pick against the Oakland Raiders. EVER. They will probably lose, but there are days when they are the best team in the league. I can't explain it.

With that said. Hopefully I can pull this one off this year. And if anyone has other tips please share. We're in this together!

This week, the packers better beat the Lions. I hope I don't get burned by my own rules.


I hate traditional fantasy football. I just suck at it. This year I got Adrian Peterson and my team still sucks. It's very disheartening. Oh well...

Thursday, September 30, 2010


Yeah I listened to Kanye's leaked version of "Lost in the World" and "All of the Lights." Both Dope tracks, but this album almost feels like a hip-hop version of 808s and Heartbreak. I understand Ye being pissed though. The guy wants people to listen to it when it's perfect. I feel for him there. Lesson here, if you're going to leak something, let the guy finish it first. Don't just leak some 2.1MB low quality sample and slap your "DJ MIX TAPE DOT COM WWW DJ MIXTAPE" tags all over it. Fuck you DJ, no credit.

Well "All of the lights" will certainly be on Philadelphia this week as McNabb returns to his old stomping grounds. I can't wait

I had this girl try and TWEET me that...hold on, let me quote the actual nonsense that she ranted.

"we're a proud city and we're proud of our teams. When you smack us in the face with things you say, you'll lose respect." <--what? i guess that tweet was brought to you by "white wine: embarrassing white women for centuries." umm, if by proud you mean hyper critical, then ok, maybe i see your point. But is pride the reason why McNabb was always the problem with the Eagles not winning the Superbowl. Step outside of your small mindset for 2 seconds and you'll see that instead of not winning the superbowl, which only 1 team can do every year, how terrible for you not to experience that. and in the saddest twist of all, you have to go back to your non-superbowl winning life as a a privileged, big breasted blonde that can talk cops out of giving her traffic's like something out of a dicken's novel. McNabb brought you to 5 conference championship games and 1 superbowl. And fyi, during that superbowl the eagles best receiver was playing on 1 leg, and the patriots knew what plays the defense was running because they were stealing signals. But that was donovan's fault. *you're right.* *ROLLS my eyes*. *SHM* And as far as your quip about McNabb not respecting the city, he was talking about their QB controversy and the franchise.

"That's Philadelphia--things like that happen," McNabb said. "I've been a part of that for 11 years. Obviously, as you see, it just doesn't stop." read: That's the Philadelphia Franchise, OR that's the Eagles. NOT that's the city. Wow. Context CLUES baby girl.


Well, I am glad to see Michael Vick doing well, because I want him to get out of Philadelphia. That's Kevin Kolb's job, and he's just keeping the seat war. Either until he struggles or he just leaves outright. Kevin Kolb is the future of that Franchise and I think Andy Reid knows that if he wants to keep his job he has to win now, so he's going with Vick. (No word yet, on if the Kol;b future is a bright future) That makes me think Andy didn't want to get rid of McNabb, because if he wanted to get Kevin Kolb in there Kevin Kolb would be starting now.

Unless........and here's my theory. I'm very excited about this one. So excited in fact, that I chest bumped the door after coming up with this. It was a little awkward. Anyway,....Unless........Vick vs. McNabb sets up as a better matchup because there's no pressure on Vick. If Kolb had to play, he'd have the weight of trying to run the offense, plus the added stress of the media attention and certain scrutiny that would have come. After each possession there would be a split screen comparing the QB's numbers thus far. The week leading up to it, there would be a mic in Kolb's face everyday, people would be at practice snapping photos, he wouldn't be able to get away from it. Now he can pretty much hide on the sidelines, and when McNabb leaves the Redskins at the end of this year you'll only have to see him AT MOST once a year. It's brilliant really. Not on Andy's part, on mine.

You're probably better off leaving Kolb in there to takes his lumps so he can grow with the offense and be ready to go next year, but who even knows if they'll be football next year. Heck, if Kolb doesn't get hurt maybe we never even see Mike Vick in his old form. That's why we play the games I guess.

And 1 final thought. Everyone's favorite NFL dick to jump on, besides America's team duh, is Michael Vick. I've heard all this mess about how he's better, he works harder, he's a better player. And while I do think he's gotten better, I don't think he was bad to begin with. It's looks alright on paper what they're saying, but there's just something behind it that doesn't set right. Like when people call smart black men, or Obama "articulate." I mean it's not an "insult," but it is. Vick had to run in Atlanta because his best receiver was BRIAN FINNERAN! and you could pretty much count on finneran to find his way onto the injured reserve list by week 2. His 2nd best receiver was Alge Crumpler and he always injured his hamstring or broke his leg by week 4. But even then Vick was a good passer. He just can't catch the ball too, but don't take my word for it, see for yourself.

NBA 2k11

Monday, September 27, 2010

Derek Jeter = Legend

Sportscenter ad feat. Jeter. If you didn't believe from SNL, now you know he has a post baseball career in hollywood.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

The Dallas Cowboys are Wack

The Dallas Cowboys suck. They suck every year, and yet somehow every year they are labeled as a team that can "win it all" or "tremendously talented" or "America's team." Since when did America's team become THE dick to jump on. I mean every sports reporter in America is Ines Sainzing it up in the cowboys locker room wishing the could get whistled at. But Let me get somethin off my chest real quick.


Alex Barron. You a soft *spoiled* muthafucka. It's not enough that you're the most penalized player of all-time (ALL-TIME) Tryna choke muthafuckas out. SMH

Ok, this goes back to the Bill Parcels era. Remember when the Cowboys sucked. Yeah, they brought in Parcells to change the mentality and culture of the origination and he did just that. Those guys knew they weren't the most talented, but they played hard and for each other to make up for it. They were disciplined. When the Cowboys sold their soul to the devil and chose TO over Bill Parcells it was all downhill. Now they don't even have a coach. The Cowboys OC is the coach, Wade Phillips just kind of stands around. I have a pretty good feeling Tony Romo called that play at the end of the first half that DeAngelo Hall ran into the endzone. Yo Wade, you gonna let an undrafted Free Agent call his own plays???

The Cowboys best player is their tight end. This is a problem. That's why the Chiefs NEVER got anywhere with Tony Gonzalez.

Marion Barber can't make anyone miss and he's slow. That muhfucka just bowls people over. But now that the cowboys line is garbage he never gets one on one, there's 3 or 4 people meeting him behind the line.

Roy Williams is a first round Detroit lions picked wide receiver. He's sucks. Roy Williams is nothing more than a poor man's Roy Williams.

Back to Tony Romo, Tony Romo is a pale, bitchmade, soft, inaccurate, poor mechanics having, non confidence inspiring, BIIIIIIIITCH. Has Tony Romo ever lead a drive when he was behind to come back and win? No. Has Tony ever been past the second round of the playoffs No. Has Tony ever beaten a team other than the eagles in the playoffs? NO. Has he crumbled in every other one of his playoff appearances? Yes. Tony Romo you suck as a player. As a person we're cool, but on the field you a BIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!

Face Down, Ass Up...Like A bitch!

Being dragged on a leash...Like a Bitch!

Not Protecting the Football...Like a Bitch!

And finally, needing to be consoled....Like a Bitch!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Rumble Young Man Rumble!!!!!

Kanye returns triumphantly to perform his single "Runaway"

Friday, September 10, 2010

MTV VMA Award Predictions

Because the formula for MTV VMA Awards is to give as many awards to everyone's favorite artists as possible these are my picks for Sunday's Awards. Bolded are who I think will win. Italicized are those that should win. With me? Good. Let's go.


B.o.B featuring Hayley Williams
Title: Airplanes

Beyoncé featuring Lady Gaga
Title: Video Phone (Extended Remix)

Lady Gaga featuring Beyoncé
Title: Telephone

3OH!3 featuring Ke$ha
Title: My First Kiss

Jay-Z & Alicia Keys
Title: Empire State of Mind

BEST FEMALE VIDEO --Although, I find it hard to believe Taylor won't win something this year

Lady Gaga
Title: Bad Romance

Title: TiK ToK

Katy Perry featuring Snoop Dogg
Title: California Gurls

Beyoncé featuring Lady Gaga
Title: Video Phone (Extended Remix)

Taylor Swift
Title: Fifteen

Title: Not Afraid

Usher featuring
Title: OMG

B.o.B featuring Hayley Williams
Title: Airplanes

Title: Find Your Love

Jason Derulo
Title: In My Head

B.o.B. featuring Hayley Williams
Title: Airplanes

Title: Not Afraid
Album: Recovery

Drake, Kanye West, Lil Wayne & Eminem
Title: Forever

Jay-Z & Swizz Beats
Title: On To The Next One

Kid Cudi featuring MGMT & Ratatat
Title: Pursuit Of Happiness

Title: TiK ToK

Jason Derulo
Title: In My Head

Justin Bieber featuring Ludacris
Title: Baby

Nicki Minaj featuring Sean Garrett
Title: Massive Attack

Broken Bells
Title: The Ghost Inside

Lady Gaga
Title: Bad Romance

Katy Perry featuring Snoop Dog
Title: California Gurls

Title: TiK ToK

Beyoncé featuring Lady Gaga
Title: Video Phone (Extended Remix)

B.o.B featuring Bruno Mars
Title: Nothing on You

Lady Gaga
Title: Bad Romance

Enrique Iglesias featuring Pitbull
Title: I Like It

Title: Evacuate The Dancefloor
Album: Evacuate The Dancefloor

David Guetta featuring Akon
Title: Sexy Chick

Usher featuring
Title: OMG

Lady Gaga
Title: Bad Romance

Florence + The Machine
Title: Dog Days Are Over

30 Seconds To Mars
Title: Kings and Queens

Lady Gaga featuring Beyoncé
Title: Telephone

Title: Not Afraid

B.o.B featuring Hayley Williams
Title: Airplanes

Lady Gaga
Title: Bad Romance

Florence + The Machine
Title: Dogs Days Are Over

Title: Not Afraid
Album: Recovery

30 Seconds To Mars
Title: Kings and Queens

Beyoncé featuring Lady Gaga
Title: Video Phone (Extended Remix)

Lady Gaga
Title: Bad Romance
Album: The Fame Monster

Lady Gaga featuring Beyoncé
Title: Telephone

Beyoncé featuring Lady Gaga
Title: Video Phone (Extended Remix)

Usher featuring
Title: OMG

Janelle Monáe featuring Big Boi
Title: Tightrope

Title: Not Afraid
Album: Recovery

Jay-Z & Alicia Keys
Title: Empire State of Mind

Lady Gaga
Title: Bad Romance

Mumford and Sons
Title: Little Lion Man

Florence + The Machine
Title: Dog Days Are Over

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The Most Interesting Men

NFL Season is here. Finally. Like the final season of LOST we're about to get some fucking answers!

Leinart and Cutler (labeled can't miss prospects) the busts while Young is the gem?

Is this the year the Texans finally make the playoffs?
Anquan Boldin. A true number 1?

Are the Jets any good? I mean, better than 9-7 barely making the playoffs because the Colts laid down in the final week and then getting hot at the right time good.

Are the Patriots old and washed up?

Can Donovan McNabb lead a terrible Redskins team to victory?

Will Brett Favre be anything like the guy from last year?

Will Chad and Terrell still be best buds by seasons end?

Did the Raiders add four or five wins to their year by cutting JaMarcus? Well they're at least subtracting 4 or 5 guaranteed losses.

Can the Saints repeat when they'll get everyones best shot? I fuckin hate the saints. I hate Reggie Bush, I hate Jeremy Shockey. And I hate Drees Brees' smallest child. FUCK HIM.

Are the Packers and Aaron Rodgers really an elite team?

Will Dallas be the first team to play at their home field in the Superbowl?

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Musical Musings

"In search of the truth even if it goes through Taylor Swift, tell her this" - Jay-Z
So a couple weeks ago Kanye's Power Remix dropped and I have to say that I didn't think it was going to be as great as he hyped it up to be. To be honest, it seemed a little unnceccessary as Power was already a solid lead single and seemingly left Ye without much place to go. Well I was wrong. The morning it dropped, Kanye had me wylin within five minutes of getting out of bed. It's the "I got the Power sample" with the Sizzy flair that takes the energy of that song to the next level. I think the song also serves as a sort of turning point for Kanye's career. Not that I was ever worried about Ye, but he had to come hard in order to ensure that the haters would be put in their place. I mean they were pretty pissed off, and about what really? He interrupted a white girl. Not attacked, or assaulted, he interrupted her rambling to make a point and then let her continue her speech. Makes me think they didn't care too much for him to begin with. (I wonder what Dr. Laura's initial reaction was.) Anyway, remember on the Diamonds Remix when Jay merked Kanye on his own single? Yeah, business..mannnnnn. Well this time Jay rips it, but by the end, you've all but forgotten that HOV was even on the track. Kanye is hitting his prime. He's the Steve Young to Hov's Joe Montana. Sure HOV is still an elite quartback, but Ye is right there. p.s. I love that Jay goes after Taylor. can. not. say it enough. fuck her!

"I remember seeing this painting and thinking…Why don’t you look like a Warhol? And then I found out he painted it was when he was 23. That’s what I feel like. I’m that painting." -Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga absolutley killed this interview on FUSE yesterday. I've seen it before, but it was a while ago, and I forgot some of the gems she dropped. That's why she's elevated herself on my depth chart. Yep, I'd marry her if the opportunity arised. She's so thoughtfully bizarre while managing to balance her crazy with a refreshing candor, genuine love of her fans, and self awareness.

"I don’t care what people think about me, I care what they think about themselves." -Lady Gaga

So Sara Bareilles' team dropped another track from the album. I personally think it will be amazing, but I'm not sure about how well the album will sell given the economic climate and the apparent lack of traditional singles. That's what killed Kelly Clarkson's "My December" and had everyone wondering if she could ever regain her luster. She did. Her next album may have had too many songs that were like singles. Almost as if it were screaming "look! look at me! a commercially viable project!" But it ended up lacking the heart of "My December." The thing about singles is that they are set to move records. They don't necessarily reflect what the artist is trying to accomplish with the album. I think a great example of this is "Lollipop." It SOLD albums, but stylistically it's nothing like the rest of the Carter III. Some people just do whatever the fuck they want, and because they're so good it doesn't matter. I loved 808s & Heartbreak, but it produced more than it's fair share of blank stares. Some called it emo while others labeled it anywhere from pure genius to a Kanye robotic fail.

'Now I just make music for me. It's like my house, because it's where I have to live. It's what I have to perform, 100 shows a year. So people may comment on it to their friends, but when they try and make a suggestion to me, it's like suggesting I change the couch in my living room - "Fuck you, it's my couch." I'm just allowing people in my home... if you don't like it, you can leave.' -Kanye

The point: I love when artists do something different. The fact that Kanye reached a point in his life that sent him in a different musical direction was awesome. Those beats on 808s were sick. And, Ye laid down the whole album in 3 weeks. Ask Dr. Dre, and his "Detox is...uhhh, I'm still workin on it, ummm, did I say this year?...uhhh..yo check these beats headphones!" how hard it is to finish an album. Look, when Wayne says he's doing a rock album like Rebirth, I get excited. These guys aren't going to embarass themselves. The music will be good. Go along for their artistic journey. When people do the same shit over and over again it gets old. It's not for you to dictate the music they give, otherwise we'd never get anything new. Think about it. Speakerboxx/The Love Below would never have happened if Outkast didn't have the courage to embrace change. Get off these artists for reaching or else people will be afraid to digress musically and stumble upon more grear music. UGH! enough of this rant though.
Hopefully Sara's album sells well, because everything I've heard is solid. + she's a hell of a singer. With that said, I'm pissed I've had to wait so long, so when the album leaks I WILL be downloading it.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Where to begin...Creativity

Gwen Stefani is tight. I've always loved this commercial.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

These are my friends

I was cleaning some files off of my desktop and I ran across this gem that I saved a while back. one time I left my aim open and my friend Sudar started talking to chase (CBryant737) as me(flognart2004). Context: 2005-2006 NFL season

CBryant737: bye bye westbrook
CBryant737: i think its safe to say
CBryant737: that the eagles are done
F******4: nah
F******4: koy detmer is the truth
 F******4: mcnabb was holding us back 
F******4: he's a great athlete and everything, but he can't lead a team 
F******4: look at the vikings
CBryant737: damn son
CBryant737: u admit that mcnabb sucks

 F******4: i hate mcnabb so much 
F******4: he drove TO out of town
CBryant737: before u were on his nuts
CBryant737: talking about how i hated all black qbs
F******4: nah i realized the truth
CBryant737: because i dodnt like mcflabb

 F******4: if matt schaub was taking snaps for the falcons they'd be 12-0 with the colts 
F******4: vick can't throw 
F******4: leftwich is okay
 F******4: but other than that 
F******4: i hate guys who can't throw the ball
CBryant737: hahahaahah
CBryant737: wow
CBryant737: thats a 180 degree turn
F******4: they should all be converted to wide receivers
CBryant737: from our last convo
CBryant737: WOW
F******4: yeah i hate the eagles man i realized
CBryant737: u dont even like vick anymore?

 F******4: nah, fuck that diseased dirty motherfucker 
F******4: he can't do shit 
F******4: he runs
CBryant737: lolll
F******4: and aaron brooks
CBryant737: what made u come to this epiphany
F******4: he's the worst of the worst 
F******4: watching how teams like the colts and pats are real winners 
F******4: peyton and tom can't move 
F******4: but theyre smart 
F******4: they chill in the pocket and run the team
 F******4: they take control of the situation 
F******4: that's what real qb's do
 F******4: i can't stand these posers
CBryant737: wait
CBryant737: this isnt [you]

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Kanye's Top 10 Tweets

I'm sure Kanye's already produced ten more brilliant tweets in the last few minutes, but whatevs. Kanye is killing twitter right now!! I don't take Kanye too seriously so he doesn't bug me, instead I find his blend of arrogance and self awareness captivating and downright hilarious. I think you will too. Here we go.

10. "keep fresh flowers in the crib" --makes sense, Ye's just tryin to help

9. "I ordered the salmon medium instead of medium well I didn't want to ruin the magic" i'm so confused by this tweet. magic salmon?? fine Kanye, I'll have the magic salmon too.

8. "Classical music is tight yo" ---can't argue with that yo

7. "The album is no longer called "Good Ass Job" I'm bouncing a couple of titles around now" --a sensible, kanye is actually human tweet. no joke, i like it.

6. "Hold on... let me see if I can get a pic of this small ass jet!!!" (followed this by picture) --I bet the guy taking the picture and his friends were like "OH DAMN YE! LOOK AT YOU PICK UP THAT PLANE THE BEST!!! NO ONE MAN SHOULD HAVE ALL THAT POWER!!!"
5. "Dating models I had to learn to like small dogs and cigarettes" --that's cool, but i asked you when the album is coming out.

4. "This Maybach make me feel so little #FREEWEEZY"
Kanye reminds us that's important to think about others while riding in a $400,000 car

And for the last three I'll let Kanye speak for himself:

3. "I think Twitter was designed specifically with me in mind just my humble opinion hahhhahaaaahaaa humble hahahahhahaahaaaa"

2. "I specifically ordered persian rugs with cherub imagery!!! What do I have to do to get a simple persian rug with cherub imagery uuuuugh"

1. 120,000!! This is way to much I need a moment!!! Can I quote myself or is that like talking in 3rd person which Kanye loves to do LOL

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Kristin of Big Brother 12

Kristin is HOT. And she knows it. She's weird, and she doesn't talk a lot, but for some reason I want her to stay.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Inception, Big Brother, and Baseball

Inception: I thought it was great. There are a few haters out there, but their complaints against the movie boiled down to their purest roots sound like sour grapes. "I don't like the movie because so many other people like it! Humph!" I agree that some people are going too far by saying that it's intellectual, or the thinking man's blockbuster, but that doesn't mean it wasn't good. Besides, here's the number one reason I won't knock Inception. It was ORIGINAL. It wasn't a sequel, it wasn't a reboot, it wasn't a remake. Hollywood loves to recycle shit because movies are a business and they need to make money. Franchises are the safe bet right now. But if audiences continue to show movies like Inception and Despicable Me support, then we'll get MORE great movies. But I want to make one thing absolutely clear, as much as I loved Inception, I'll shoot someone in the face if they make an Inception 2.

Big Brother (Spoilers) : So big brother got a healthy does of egg on it's face. It's a real shame Annie (who it turns out was the saboteur, above) was voted out in the first week. The realer shame is this: She should have stayed based on her plea, but the people in the house are at best morons, and at worst cowards. Hayden put up Rachel and Brendan on the block (the first showmance, below) with the goal of sending one of them home. Then when Brendan won the POV somehow the idea of breaking up the showmance went right out the window as they decided Annie had to go. But if you're breaking up the showmance, get rid of Rachel. BOOM. Showmance done. But they vote out Annie, and surprise, RACHEL wins HoH. And I saw her nominations a mile away. Even though they were all like "Brendan's basically HoH." No, when a woman is HoH this early in the game she will seek to DESTROY every other woman in the house. This is a perfect example of why there will never be a female president. Basically, women hate other women. If they didn't, women would rule the world, because all men want to do is impress women. --And Annie put it best, they're just like the Donatos. You can say you'll get them next week, but in this game there is no next week. There's only right now. All the more reason why I'm def going to win big brother.
Baseball: I haven't played Fantasy this year, but I've been following it. And there's a few things I want to get off my chest. The emergence of Josh Johnson, I remember sitting in Toyon my sophomore year listening to my friend tell me how he was going to be a stud. I believed him, and I've drafted him every year since. How are people just finding out about him now, he was a stud last year. Ubaldo and Strasburg. Start w/ Ubaldo. In baseball, everything evens out. It just does. If a person is on fire in the second half, they aren't going to have that SAME level of success in the second half. It's just not goin down that way. Ubaldo had 15 wins before the break, and he's not going to get 30, so then I think, he's probably not going to get 25. But people are acting like it's a slump, no it's baseball. It's hard to win games. Same for Strasburg. He's not going to K 14 every night. Let the guy grow and learn how to pitch rater than when he loses a game (for the nationals btw) roll a headline saying "Strasburg Mortal?" Really ESPN? But It sounds like someone at ESPN is starting to take a step back and realize that things are getting out of control. Don Ohlmeyer ESPN's Ombudsman (really important glorified PR guy) wrote this about ESPN televising LeBron's "Decision."

Friday, July 9, 2010

Big Brother 12 + Basketball Lessons

I love this show. I really do. And Last night didn't was just the first episode. Nobody hates each other, no alliances have formed, and I'm not too opposed to anyone just yet, but I already feel like I'm going to hate some people and love a few. Let's discuss:

Last year, I loved the girl with the big titties, but this year, I dunno. She tries too hard to act ditsy when she's a chemist. Which means any time she is mildly responsible for someone getting evicted she is going to gloat like she invented the super collider. Hot bitches that have the "i'm going to prove I'm smart" chip on their shoulders are the worst. Nice titties though.

Annie Seems cute and Funny. I like her.Britney seems like that girl that loves you, until she loves you too much, and so she decides that you have to die.Kristin strikes me as the hottest. We'll see about personality, but I want her to stay around.

Letter From the Cavs Owner: Do's And Dont's for Dan Gilbert and 1 for LeBron(you can read it here)

DO: Use inflammatory religious metaphors to make it seem as if this is much more important than games of five on five basketball.

Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.

DON'T: Distract from said metaphor by using Comic Sans. I suggest Times New Roman, or the up and coming Calibri.

DO: Intentionally leave out the gaping holes in your argument. Dan Gilbert said a lot of things in his letter, but not one time did he say "We have a good Basketball team."

(LeBron) DON'T: Break up with your girlfriend team on National Television. But if you must, do it on "Fox and Friends." You'll still seem like the most reasonable person there.

DON'T: Get caught up in the moment and say crazy things that will most certainly end up with a victory parade in South Beach.


Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Purple Drank

Lately I've been going back and forth on whether I despise Ke$ha or not. I tend to like her more when I can't actually see her, because her whole grungy, garbage bag chic vibe is not doing it for me. But her mastered, studio quality, not performing live music is catchy. (This is the classiest photo of her I could find.)

I'm officially tired of NBA free agency. I can't take it anymore. I'm so glad that it won't be like this next year. The only thing I'll say about LeBron's ESPN special is this: What if an ESPN reporter gets the scoop early. Have they been explicity told by ESPN not to report the story. And even if they haven't been told anything, are the reporters worried about retaliation by the network. If I'm a reporter, and my contract is coming up in a few months, and I find out something, I'm NOT saying a word. There's a definite conflict of interest there. Here's hoping a reporter from Fox or NBC finds something out.

Power Rankings for Summer Films I've Haven't Seen Yet:

1. Inception -If this is shutter Island part 2 I'm going to burn down the theater.
Great Special Effects + Ellen Page = You couldn't pay me to not see this movie.

2. Despicable Me -the little girl is too funny!

3. Grown Ups -Too many cooks in the kicthen?

How do all these guys who shine on their own "share the ball" if you will? I hope it turns out like the redeem team. I fear it'll be like the 04 Lakers. Probably like that new "We are the World."

Honorable mention to "Tom Cruise & Cameron Diaz's Excellent Adventure." I'd probably go see it if tom cruise didn't insist on going around to all the talk shows and pretending he's normal. Why hasn't Katie Holmes spoken in like 2 years? Is she a cylon? That's the more pressing issue.

So apparently JaMarcus Russell got caught with purple drink. The funniest respone I read was that he was "trying to throw the drink away but he ended up taking a 12 yard sack." Now the scary part about purple drink is that the shit actually looks delicious. Apparently you mix codeine (think dimetapp) with sprite, and jolly ranchers. HOW FUCKING AWESOME DOES THAT SOUND!?!?!?

Monday, July 5, 2010

The Frenzy

I admit, I always say I'm going to start blogging more regularly, but this time I mean it. Like really, this is happening. But because I'm way overdue, I'm going to have to hit the highlights I've missed over the past few weeks in a quick hits post. Let's Go!
Free Agent Frenzy:
It was cool to see Amar'e (stupid spelling of his name aside) sign with the Knicks. 1. I'm happy for my friend Sudar who is a die-hard Knicks fan and watched every game of the 23 win season debacle. and 2. It helps clear up the picture a little bit. Wade can't stay in Miami alone, which means Bosh WILL go to Miami or Chicago. And if LeBron doesn't act quickly he'll be forced to stay in Cleveland. If Wade goes to Chi, LeBron could only go to NY or CLE. And in my opinion Amar'e has Elton Brand's disease (EBD) written all over him. (Return from injury to play great, sign a max deal, and then return to injury.) Plus even if the knicks got Carmelo, he plays the same position as LeBron. It makes no sense. Bron may want to leave, but he can't. Maybe he can just sign a shorter deal with Cleveland. Or have a player option after 3 years.
P.S. This is all because Bosh got cold feet on the Miami deal. He wants max money at all cost, because he can't get endorsements like Wade or Bron.

P.S.S. Joe Johnson has got it all figured out. He basically just stole 125 million from the hawks. Better them than the Knicks though.
Sex in the City 2:

I don't know who's worse, the idiots who made sex and the city 2, or the idiots who went to go see it. Everyone involved with the making of this movie should be arrested. Kim Catrall should be water boarded.

NBA: Remember how dominant the magic looked? Turns out the Magic suck. We just didn't think they sucked cuz the teams they played before REALLY sucked. They played the bobcats (nuff said) and the hawks (who let the bogut-less bucks take them to 7.) Cleveland would have cruised past them had they not gotten Rondo'd up. I just wanted to bring that to your attention.

Sidebar: I love this NBA commercial.

Big Brother 12 starts July 8th. This Thursday! Be about it!

Tiger Woods will dominate again folks. He got shook down for 100 mill. It's hard to focus when everyone is taking shots at you. But all this talk about how he's done--->CHILD PLEASE.