Thursday, May 13, 2010

How to Alienate Your Fans 101 By LBJ

I'm pumped for tonight, but I fear I may have to cut off my playoff beard. If they lose tonight, I'll have to watch Kobe win another title, but on the plus side, I won't have to see Rachel Nichols busted mug on my screen for a while. (until brett favre decides to leave his house) I can the ESPN story now.
You have to imagine her voice saying this.

"Today Brett Favre left his house and drove to starbucks. But he didn't order his usual cafe latte. He instead opted for a double mochoa. Mocha is the skin color of teammate sidney rice. Now you're probably wondering what this means. It means I'll be back here tomorrow. Reporting from Brett Favre's House...Rachel Nichols. E-S-P-N."
Anyway, back to bron bron. I understand he was frustrated, but I don't think he quit. I think Avery Johnson summed it up best by saying, "Lebron hit a mental wall and said to himself 'wow... it's really four against one tonight.'"

Anyway, how to alienate fans 101.

1. Tell the losingest sports city that they're "spoiled."
What's next, why don't you hop a jet and tell the make a wish kids that they're spoiled and fiscally know, cuz they're just gonna die anyway...

2. Feel bad for yourself. <--huh?

3. Talk about how few bad games you've had.
That's like Ben Roethlisberger saying he had 2 bad nights in 7 year career.

4. Wear a yankees cap ALL THE TIME and insist it means nothing.

5. Pass the ball to Anderson Varejao
I don't care if you're tripled teamed, and he's wide open under the basket. Under no circumstance do you pass him the ball. Call a timeout.
----hey, so who want's to go see "just wright"