Thursday, July 29, 2010

Kanye's Top 10 Tweets

I'm sure Kanye's already produced ten more brilliant tweets in the last few minutes, but whatevs. Kanye is killing twitter right now!! I don't take Kanye too seriously so he doesn't bug me, instead I find his blend of arrogance and self awareness captivating and downright hilarious. I think you will too. Here we go.

10. "keep fresh flowers in the crib" --makes sense, Ye's just tryin to help

9. "I ordered the salmon medium instead of medium well I didn't want to ruin the magic" i'm so confused by this tweet. magic salmon?? fine Kanye, I'll have the magic salmon too.

8. "Classical music is tight yo" ---can't argue with that yo

7. "The album is no longer called "Good Ass Job" I'm bouncing a couple of titles around now" --a sensible, kanye is actually human tweet. no joke, i like it.

6. "Hold on... let me see if I can get a pic of this small ass jet!!!" (followed this by picture) --I bet the guy taking the picture and his friends were like "OH DAMN YE! LOOK AT YOU PICK UP THAT PLANE THE BEST!!! NO ONE MAN SHOULD HAVE ALL THAT POWER!!!"
5. "Dating models I had to learn to like small dogs and cigarettes" --that's cool, but i asked you when the album is coming out.

4. "This Maybach make me feel so little #FREEWEEZY"
Kanye reminds us that's important to think about others while riding in a $400,000 car

And for the last three I'll let Kanye speak for himself:

3. "I think Twitter was designed specifically with me in mind just my humble opinion hahhhahaaaahaaa humble hahahahhahaahaaaa"

2. "I specifically ordered persian rugs with cherub imagery!!! What do I have to do to get a simple persian rug with cherub imagery uuuuugh"

1. 120,000!! This is way to much I need a moment!!! Can I quote myself or is that like talking in 3rd person which Kanye loves to do LOL

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Kristin of Big Brother 12

Kristin is HOT. And she knows it. She's weird, and she doesn't talk a lot, but for some reason I want her to stay.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Inception, Big Brother, and Baseball

Inception: I thought it was great. There are a few haters out there, but their complaints against the movie boiled down to their purest roots sound like sour grapes. "I don't like the movie because so many other people like it! Humph!" I agree that some people are going too far by saying that it's intellectual, or the thinking man's blockbuster, but that doesn't mean it wasn't good. Besides, here's the number one reason I won't knock Inception. It was ORIGINAL. It wasn't a sequel, it wasn't a reboot, it wasn't a remake. Hollywood loves to recycle shit because movies are a business and they need to make money. Franchises are the safe bet right now. But if audiences continue to show movies like Inception and Despicable Me support, then we'll get MORE great movies. But I want to make one thing absolutely clear, as much as I loved Inception, I'll shoot someone in the face if they make an Inception 2.

Big Brother (Spoilers) : So big brother got a healthy does of egg on it's face. It's a real shame Annie (who it turns out was the saboteur, above) was voted out in the first week. The realer shame is this: She should have stayed based on her plea, but the people in the house are at best morons, and at worst cowards. Hayden put up Rachel and Brendan on the block (the first showmance, below) with the goal of sending one of them home. Then when Brendan won the POV somehow the idea of breaking up the showmance went right out the window as they decided Annie had to go. But if you're breaking up the showmance, get rid of Rachel. BOOM. Showmance done. But they vote out Annie, and surprise, RACHEL wins HoH. And I saw her nominations a mile away. Even though they were all like "Brendan's basically HoH." No, when a woman is HoH this early in the game she will seek to DESTROY every other woman in the house. This is a perfect example of why there will never be a female president. Basically, women hate other women. If they didn't, women would rule the world, because all men want to do is impress women. --And Annie put it best, they're just like the Donatos. You can say you'll get them next week, but in this game there is no next week. There's only right now. All the more reason why I'm def going to win big brother.
Baseball: I haven't played Fantasy this year, but I've been following it. And there's a few things I want to get off my chest. The emergence of Josh Johnson, I remember sitting in Toyon my sophomore year listening to my friend tell me how he was going to be a stud. I believed him, and I've drafted him every year since. How are people just finding out about him now, he was a stud last year. Ubaldo and Strasburg. Start w/ Ubaldo. In baseball, everything evens out. It just does. If a person is on fire in the second half, they aren't going to have that SAME level of success in the second half. It's just not goin down that way. Ubaldo had 15 wins before the break, and he's not going to get 30, so then I think, he's probably not going to get 25. But people are acting like it's a slump, no it's baseball. It's hard to win games. Same for Strasburg. He's not going to K 14 every night. Let the guy grow and learn how to pitch rater than when he loses a game (for the nationals btw) roll a headline saying "Strasburg Mortal?" Really ESPN? But It sounds like someone at ESPN is starting to take a step back and realize that things are getting out of control. Don Ohlmeyer ESPN's Ombudsman (really important glorified PR guy) wrote this about ESPN televising LeBron's "Decision."

Friday, July 9, 2010

Big Brother 12 + Basketball Lessons

I love this show. I really do. And Last night didn't was just the first episode. Nobody hates each other, no alliances have formed, and I'm not too opposed to anyone just yet, but I already feel like I'm going to hate some people and love a few. Let's discuss:

Last year, I loved the girl with the big titties, but this year, I dunno. She tries too hard to act ditsy when she's a chemist. Which means any time she is mildly responsible for someone getting evicted she is going to gloat like she invented the super collider. Hot bitches that have the "i'm going to prove I'm smart" chip on their shoulders are the worst. Nice titties though.

Annie Seems cute and Funny. I like her.Britney seems like that girl that loves you, until she loves you too much, and so she decides that you have to die.Kristin strikes me as the hottest. We'll see about personality, but I want her to stay around.

Letter From the Cavs Owner: Do's And Dont's for Dan Gilbert and 1 for LeBron(you can read it here)

DO: Use inflammatory religious metaphors to make it seem as if this is much more important than games of five on five basketball.

Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.

DON'T: Distract from said metaphor by using Comic Sans. I suggest Times New Roman, or the up and coming Calibri.

DO: Intentionally leave out the gaping holes in your argument. Dan Gilbert said a lot of things in his letter, but not one time did he say "We have a good Basketball team."

(LeBron) DON'T: Break up with your girlfriend team on National Television. But if you must, do it on "Fox and Friends." You'll still seem like the most reasonable person there.

DON'T: Get caught up in the moment and say crazy things that will most certainly end up with a victory parade in South Beach.


Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Purple Drank

Lately I've been going back and forth on whether I despise Ke$ha or not. I tend to like her more when I can't actually see her, because her whole grungy, garbage bag chic vibe is not doing it for me. But her mastered, studio quality, not performing live music is catchy. (This is the classiest photo of her I could find.)

I'm officially tired of NBA free agency. I can't take it anymore. I'm so glad that it won't be like this next year. The only thing I'll say about LeBron's ESPN special is this: What if an ESPN reporter gets the scoop early. Have they been explicity told by ESPN not to report the story. And even if they haven't been told anything, are the reporters worried about retaliation by the network. If I'm a reporter, and my contract is coming up in a few months, and I find out something, I'm NOT saying a word. There's a definite conflict of interest there. Here's hoping a reporter from Fox or NBC finds something out.

Power Rankings for Summer Films I've Haven't Seen Yet:

1. Inception -If this is shutter Island part 2 I'm going to burn down the theater.
Great Special Effects + Ellen Page = You couldn't pay me to not see this movie.

2. Despicable Me -the little girl is too funny!

3. Grown Ups -Too many cooks in the kicthen?

How do all these guys who shine on their own "share the ball" if you will? I hope it turns out like the redeem team. I fear it'll be like the 04 Lakers. Probably like that new "We are the World."

Honorable mention to "Tom Cruise & Cameron Diaz's Excellent Adventure." I'd probably go see it if tom cruise didn't insist on going around to all the talk shows and pretending he's normal. Why hasn't Katie Holmes spoken in like 2 years? Is she a cylon? That's the more pressing issue.

So apparently JaMarcus Russell got caught with purple drink. The funniest respone I read was that he was "trying to throw the drink away but he ended up taking a 12 yard sack." Now the scary part about purple drink is that the shit actually looks delicious. Apparently you mix codeine (think dimetapp) with sprite, and jolly ranchers. HOW FUCKING AWESOME DOES THAT SOUND!?!?!?

Monday, July 5, 2010

The Frenzy

I admit, I always say I'm going to start blogging more regularly, but this time I mean it. Like really, this is happening. But because I'm way overdue, I'm going to have to hit the highlights I've missed over the past few weeks in a quick hits post. Let's Go!
Free Agent Frenzy:
It was cool to see Amar'e (stupid spelling of his name aside) sign with the Knicks. 1. I'm happy for my friend Sudar who is a die-hard Knicks fan and watched every game of the 23 win season debacle. and 2. It helps clear up the picture a little bit. Wade can't stay in Miami alone, which means Bosh WILL go to Miami or Chicago. And if LeBron doesn't act quickly he'll be forced to stay in Cleveland. If Wade goes to Chi, LeBron could only go to NY or CLE. And in my opinion Amar'e has Elton Brand's disease (EBD) written all over him. (Return from injury to play great, sign a max deal, and then return to injury.) Plus even if the knicks got Carmelo, he plays the same position as LeBron. It makes no sense. Bron may want to leave, but he can't. Maybe he can just sign a shorter deal with Cleveland. Or have a player option after 3 years.
P.S. This is all because Bosh got cold feet on the Miami deal. He wants max money at all cost, because he can't get endorsements like Wade or Bron.

P.S.S. Joe Johnson has got it all figured out. He basically just stole 125 million from the hawks. Better them than the Knicks though.
Sex in the City 2:

I don't know who's worse, the idiots who made sex and the city 2, or the idiots who went to go see it. Everyone involved with the making of this movie should be arrested. Kim Catrall should be water boarded.

NBA: Remember how dominant the magic looked? Turns out the Magic suck. We just didn't think they sucked cuz the teams they played before REALLY sucked. They played the bobcats (nuff said) and the hawks (who let the bogut-less bucks take them to 7.) Cleveland would have cruised past them had they not gotten Rondo'd up. I just wanted to bring that to your attention.

Sidebar: I love this NBA commercial.

Big Brother 12 starts July 8th. This Thursday! Be about it!

Tiger Woods will dominate again folks. He got shook down for 100 mill. It's hard to focus when everyone is taking shots at you. But all this talk about how he's done--->CHILD PLEASE.