Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The Finals

I'm so happy the Finals are here. Honestly since LeBron and the Cavs lost last year this is what I've been looking forward to. The regular season is kinda like having to watch a bunch of filler episodes before things start getting good.

In the regular season no one installs specific gameplans. Everything is about trying to get better and seeing what works and what doesn't. In the playoffs it's all about, how do I beat this particular team tonight. Improving yourself, or experimenting with strategies gets thrown out the window. If you're great at shooting the three, but you can only win by pounding a team in the paint, you say "fuck the three, we're going to bruise and get the W."

The Heat have LeBron and Dwyane Wade. Good luck beating them 4 times out of 7. I mean, if you have LeBron and DWade that's almost as unfair as it gets. Mix in an all-star in Chris Bosh and the rest is really about making sure the game is close in the final minutes because the other team certainly doesn't have an answer for Bron and DWade. Double team Bron, pass it Wade, Double team Wade and Bron, and then you've got one guy left to cover three. Good luck. Leave em in single and then Wade or Bron blow past their man and get fouled at the rim.

Anyone who hates LeBron should consider why they hate LeBron. Is it because he left Cleveland for Miami? No one would blame Peyton Hillis if he wanted to get out of Cleveland, in fact they'd probably be happy for him. Cleveland wasn't upset at CC for leaving to get his big pay day in the bronx. They weren't really that mad that he won a championship the next year. I understand LeBron is from Ohio, but the ones people should be mad at are Anderson Varejao, Mo Williams, Daniel "Booby" Gibson, Antawn Jamison and his 5 points per game against the Celtics, and Anthony Parker's inability to be the best basketball player in his family.

The fact is that people Hate the Heat because of the Decision, and the rising out of the smoke celebration before they won anything. But if they win it all then what. Well for starters all lot of people that have been holding in a lot of hate are going to eat a lot of cold, LeBron bobblehead tongue out crow. So you might as well let bygones be bygones and quit hating LeBron and the Heat. You don't even have to root for them, but why waste your time hating.

I mean suit yourself if you wanna hate, but now is NOT the time to delude yourself into being a Dallas Mavericks fan. You're only going to get your heart broken. Dirk is good, but not that good, not "let's try to compare him to Larry Bird in the hopes of convincing ourselves that the Mavs can beat the heat" good, and despite what you may have heard, he won't have any help around him. DWade will shut up Terry. Bosh and Haslem will hold Dirk in the 30s, and as long as the heat don't try to double Dirk and stay with their men the Mavs won't get open shots and will die by the three. It's what Atlanta did to the Magic. They conceded Howard's 40 and refused to leave any shooters open. It's worse for the Mavs because the Heat can defend Dirk, and none of the Mavs perimeter players can create their own shot. This one is gonna be short. I think it'll end in Dallas.

Kreayshawn - Gucci Gucci

This girl can spit. Wacky Minaj better look out. And fuck that bitch Karmin who steals people's flows and racks up youtube views. Kreayshawn (creation?) is the truth! White girl rap on the come up!

Monday, May 30, 2011

Friday, May 27, 2011

The Hangover Part II sucked...This is a good thing

So if you haven't seen the hangover, I'm sorry to tell you this. But it sucks. There's a lot wrong with this movie, but in fairness I will go ahead and say that I wasn't the biggest fan of the first movie.

However, the fact is, this movie sucked. But I think that's actually a good thing for all of us. First though, why it sucked. If you haven't seen the movie, DON'T. But if you are still planning on seeing it, then stop reading as things will get a little spoilerish so you've been warned. I will say this though, I do like this trailer in particular.

The Hangover Part II is essentially the same exact movie as the Hangover. Same plot, same jokes, same storytelling devices, same basic premise. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but if you're going to do that, the jokes have to be sharper, the reveals have to be funnier, and the characters have to be deeper.

The Hangover Part II doesn't deliver on any of these fronts. With the exception of a few scenes, the movie is an homage to penis jokes and sub sophomoric humor. When a theater is packed with high school kids, and your penis jokes are only met with mild laughter, you need to hit yourself with a drake voice "what am i doin?"

A comedy is only as good as it's jokes right? Well the jokes here can be seen coming a mile away. Look, if you like penis size stereotypes, this movie is for you. If you're a fan of 2 and 1/2 men, this movie is for you. Spoiler. I knew that was Ken Jeong's penis. So the reveal of him having a small penis wasn't funny. I knew that lady had to have a penis because that's what they were going for this time around. It was too easy.

As the characters go, I'm not really sure why Doug is even in the movie. He makes a couple phone calls and that's it. Since he's gone for a lot of the first movie, it would have been nice to see him get involved in this adventure. It probably would have made for more interesting character interactions. Next, Bradley Cooper's character is almost unlikeable. And I really like the guy too. His unlikeability almost forced me out of the movie to the point where I'm realizing that I'm watching a movie rather than being fully immersed in the film. But Zach's character is the worst. He's annoying, and his lines make me think they were written by someone who vaguely remembers the first movie and decided to create a semi villainous man baby. And Ken Jeong's character makes him do the "Ken Jeong 'it's funny because I'm Asian thing'" and to me that's not funny. It's lazy and uninspired writing.

The problem stems from the fact that all that's getting green lighted in Hollywood now are sequels and reboots. How can we have another Hangover if we're making Hangover 2, Pirates of the Caribbean 8, Men In Black 3, or God forbid another Inception movie? (I loved inception, but Inception 2??? CMON!!) It doesn't make sense. Bridesmaids was a hit, and then immediately I start hearing talk about Bridesmaids 2. I think we should give the writers and directors that make these movies a little bit more freedom to make new original projects rather than jam sequels and reboots down everyone's throats. And it won't be until we stop going to see these movies that we'll stop getting them.

I went to go see the Hangover 2. I'm part of the problem. I realize that. But that's because there are good sequels. The Dark Knight is probably the reigning sequel king at the moment (Soon to be The Dark Knight Rises). I enjoyed Scream 4, the Shrek movies made a shitload of money, and The Spy Who Shagged Me was better than the original. Good sequels are one thing, but a sequel for the sake of capitalizing on one good script is disingenuous. Sequels make economic sense, just not creative sense.

I think if you're going to do a sequel it has to be done within a few parameters.

1.) Write the movies all at once. The fastest Hollywood can turn a sequel around is about 2 years. And that's if you get the script done in 6 months. The Script for the Hangover was in development for years. Of course a script which took 6 months is not going to be as inspired as a movie that a writer spent countless nights tweaking and agonizing over. So if you write the scripts all at once you don't have this problem.

A lot of times people think that the best season of their favorite tv show is the first season and that's typically because the showrunners spend anywhere from 5-10 years outlining these plots and creating characters. The time spent on a script counts.

2.) Wait a really long time to make a sequel. Scream 4. Excellent. Indiana Jones 4. Pretty good. Wall Street 2. Ok I guess that one was terrible, but you have a lot better chance of not sucking if you take the time to write a good script.

Long story short, hopefully word of mouth gets out about how the Hangover 2 sucked and people won't go see it. It's box office will be considerably lower than the first, and because the movie cost more than the first and made less the studios will take notice and green light more original movies.