Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Daniele is my girl

Daniele when seeing a laboratory-type set for the veto comp:

"Rachel's probably dying to play in this veto competition because she thinks she's a scientist. BUT, unless scientists serve Mia Tias, I'm pretty sure she's a waitress...ZING!"

Daniele stole my heart this year.  Her legs look so SMOOTH...

who started this?

via MTV

Saturday, August 20, 2011

The Social Network(s)

A lotta things have been getting on my nerves lately + I've been neglecting my blog.  So I figured i might as well kill two birds you feel me? Without further adieu...

Twitter is a strange place.  No one new wants to do it because they're not really sure what it is.  Whenever I ask somebody if they tweet or try to get them to start tweeting they almost always say "Isn't that just a facebook status update?"  To which I typically reply "Yeah, but.." and then I'm pretty sure all they hear after that is the charlie brown "wompa wompa womp womp womp...."

Juwan watches silently while Eddie is on one.
Anyway, I'm done with facebook.  It's pointless.  The ONLY reason to use facebook is to A) Get ass B. pretend like you're not only there to get ass and C.  remember birthdays.  Facebook ain't for us anymore.  I feel like I'm the "Juwan Howard on the Heat" of facebook.  I keep a low profile and almost never post...Whenever I pop up on people's newsfeeds they probably think "man, I didn't even know he was still in the league."

At this stage in my facebook career, I only have it because a girl might wanna facebook me or vice versa.  If I go to a party there might be 6 or 7 girls I wanna smash.  So I add em.  But my newsfeed is gonna put me on blast so I gotta add 3 or 4 dudes from that same party to keep it from looking like I only added chicks.  It's basically like going to the store and buying juice and eggs to make it look like you're not just there to buy condoms. 

I remember when facebook was the wild wild west.  There were literally NO. Fucking. Rules!  Cuz it was so new, people had no idea what was happening.  You could randomly add chicks and they'd think nothing of it and have convos with you like you were good friends.  You could friend somebody five minutes after you met em.  You wanna tell a girl she has nice titties? DO it! You wanna poke a chick? Be! My! Guest!  I met about 20 girls on facebook before I went to stanford and convinced more than a handful of cute ones to go out with me once I got there.  That's the first time I fell victim to facebook pic deceit and the wizardry of photoshop, but that's for another blog.

Point is, back when only cowboys and indians was on facebook you could do anything and the shit was mad fun.  If people could see the threads I had goin w/ some girls they'd give my facebook profile the death penalty.
Now it's all corporate, and everywhere you look it's grandmas and preachers on facebook.  Basically we reached that point in pulp fiction where there's the gimp and black dude gettin fucked and people started going, "whoa...it's not a game anymore. this is real."  And they decided that the lawlessness had to stop.  If you tag a picture of somebody, they detag it immediately and then text you some angry shit about how you fucked up for posting a pic of them licking the edible candle wax off the bartenders nipple.  Grown, bitch made, damn near teary eyed men be like "My mom saw that shit, not cool homie" 1st.  Not my fault.  2nd.  What are you doing accepting your mom's facebook friend request anyway?  Plus, you know she had the computer "remember" her password.  Log onto her facebook and delete her profile.  Problem solved.

There's just so many rules.  Like windows for adding people on facebook.  Wanna add that bomb ass chick you met a week ago?  Nope.  You gotta wait to see her again and then hope you remember to add her before the window closes.  And once you are friends, all communication better happen between 11:00AM and 6:00PM.  Try to set up anything up over facebook and you'll get yourself blacklisted as the guy that tries to mack on girls over facebook.  <--this particular point needs an aside:

Every guy is trying to holla at girls on facebook.  It's like cheating in the NCAA.  Everyone is doing it.  But only the people who get caught get punished.  In the end, the reward far outweighs the risk involved so it's not gonna stop. 

And we're back:


Wanna post on a girls wall?  Naw. Think again, cuz all her friends gon get together and have a tribunal and shit to determine what your wall post meant and if she should continue to return your phone calls.  But to be fair, that's gonna happen with any type of internet communication.  Everything on the web is written in ink.  Man..the guy who invents, texts, tweets, and facebook messages that self destruct after being read is gonna be a billionaire.  

But back to twitter.  People use it for a number of different things.  I admire and respect people that entertain the most.  Funny people are king, but if you at least entertain, or inform then I don't have a problem following you.

Just don't be one of these guys.  No names to protect the innocent.

1.  Regular people trying to be inspirational. "Be confident in who you are and everything you are will be." Ugh...Just retweet Rev Run and let it go.  Plus don't tweet "booty poppin in da club/ gettin my back blown out" and then the next morning try to be all "Know your true worth and never compromise."  I don't wanna hear it.

2.  People that tweet.  "Asked to use a microwave at the grocery store next door so I could heat up my lunch. #desperate <----An actual tweet.  After I read that I felt like I had every right to call her and cuss her out.

3.  Or people that "break" news that they clearly read from ESPN or some journalists twitter feed.  Just retweet.  Don't pretend like you were making calls and have sources.  You watched around the horn just like I did.

But let's end on a positive note.

Some of my favorite tweeters:
Chelsea is by far my favorite.  I really admire her writing and sense of humor. 

@ChelseaVPeretti

"I like being told to chill. Chills me out!" -nobody

"A good indicator of us not being in the same "vibe zone" is if you are a white person wearing a white turban."

@NileEvans

...PRETTY CHICKS WITH NOTHING TO SAY THINK WE FOLLOWING "THEM". WE FOLLOWIN THEM TITTAYZ!!

@lilduval

My 12 year old God son just told me plies is the realist rapper alive and jay z don't be talking bout nothin.....he dead serious

Friday, August 19, 2011

I love this woman

She's pure inspiration.


This rendition of "You and I" is phenomenal.