Women are out of control!

I'm tired of wack bitches.  And I'll even go as far to say that all of us are tired of wack bitches.  Women are getting out of control.  Now there are some great women out there.  Smart, beautiful, wonderful, caring, and inspirational women.  But then there are the bitches whose stank attitudes could be used to clear out frat parties.  They come with foul dispositions, blackberry twitter accounts, a fondness of mixing in a few big words to sound smarter, knockoff Louis Vuitton bags, inspirational Rev Run quotes,  and an inexplicable sense of entitlement.  They've completely thrown off the balance of men and women. As I sat at home troubled by this phenomenon, an uncomfortably light skinned black man by the name of Chris Broussard came on my tv and that's when it occurred to me that our situation is almost exactly the same as the relationship between NBA players and owners.  We're at an impasse gentlemen.  The future of the game is at stake.Which is why I propose we lockout.  Yes fellas, we need a new collective bargaining agreement with women.

Now I'm sure you're thinking, what if these bitches find out about my plan to lockout.  Don't worry, the women I'm speaking of don't own laptops and can only access the internet through their phones.  It would eat up too much of their data plan to load this page.  We're good.  Let's continue:


The issues:

1. Nicki Minaj and Rihanna worship needs to stop.  

2. Hating on Michael Vick/ Ben Roethlisberger needs to stop.

3. Game playing needs to stop!

4. Revenue Sharing needs to start!


One of my closest and dearest friends told me she was going out with a guy because she wanted some good food...for free.

You went on a date with a man because you're HUNGRY!?!?

Unacceptable.

So how do we address these issues:
1.  Decertify

2.  Give some of these bitches the veteran minimum.

3.  Stop giving below average women the mid level exception.

4.  Don't allow role players to get max deals.

Personally, I'm only fuckin with world beaters from now on.  Because if we have to pay max dollars anyway, why not seek out max talent.  Every girl wants a max deal now.  That's the problem.  Average girls need to understand their value.  And average is not bad,  I actually used to deal only with average chicks just because they were so much more down to earth. That's not the case anymore, which is why we need to reestablish the tiers so that we can pay players accordingly.  Now I know they'll never accept a salary cap, but if we're smart they don't have too.  It's our fault that some girls egos are inflated beyond their tier.  It makes sense on paper that you can't give a max deal to an average player.  But all it takes is one desperate owner to overpay for an average player and then that raises the asking price for all higher tiered women.

Demands:  

1.  If we text you, text back. Promptly.

2.  Say what you mean.  Pretty fuckin simple, but largely ignored.

3.  If you only want friendship, you better insist on splitting everything. No. Free. Meals. 

Look, I'm not going to pretend to have all the answers, but I do know one thing; we need to lockout before it's too late.  I'm out.