Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Lights, CAM-era, Action!

Even though Christmas time can be stressful, this year I've found myself in a particularly cheery mood.  Probably because this is the second year I'll be doing a favorite things post, and thinking about everything that I've enjoyed this year makes me very happy.  If you haven't already, I'm sure you'll start to see best of lists for 2012 start popping up on the sites you usually visit.  I haven't gotten there yet, but Alyson has gotten the ball rolling so you should definitely swing over there and pay extra attention over the next week or so.

So before we get to our 2012 review, it's time to get caught up on a couple of commercials + one sketch that I've been meaning to highlight for a while

First up Cam Newton.  This guy is funny.  I don't understand how people can hate him.  I mean, how can you actually, legitimately, despise him?  Sure you could say he's cocky, but I think his bravado comes from a good place.  He just likes to have fun.  Here, take a look at the "this is sportscenter" ad he shot earlier this year.


Still not convinced? Ok, check out this hilarious spot he filmed with a kid for the NFL's play 60 initiative.


Shifting gears for a second, perhaps slipping under the radar was Jamie Foxx hosting SNL on the 8th.  There were a couple of solid sketches.  I really enjoyed the "Maine Justice" courtroom sketch in which he and Sudeikis essentially act ridiculous for a few minutes.  But I think the standout for me was Jamie being interviewed as the Hostess snack "Ding Dong" during weekend update.  It's classic Jamie being Jamie.  (Is there anyone more talented on the planet?)  I also love that you can see Seth enjoying the banter.


Finally, this is absolutely one of my favorite commercials of 2012.  This Chris Paul / Cliff Paul spot stands out for two reasons. 1st. Chris Paul just seems like a great dude in general. 2nd. Turns out dude is pretty damn goofy.  Statefarm is at the top of their game when it comes to athlete commercials.   It's a minute long, but it's worth it.


Alright.  When I come back it'll be with Part 1 of my favorite things of 2012 post.  Remember how much fun last year was?

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Alyson and Darius' Favorite Tweets of November!

We didn't forget!  It is finally that time again!  Believe me, I get wayyy too excited to comb through tweets with Alyson to let the month slip away without a favorite tweets installment.  Looking back, November was a pretty eventful month.  I mean we had Thanksgiving, Stanford beat Oregon, and then UCLA *twice* to get into the Rose Bowl, Lindsay Lohan was epically blindsided by the complete face plant of Liz and Dick, but most importantly my president is still black.  Well you know how this works, so let's get to it!

Alyson:  And then the second best part of the day is getting said sandwich and then eating that sandwich and then wondering if maybe you should also have a sandwich for dinner.

Darius:  I had no idea you liked sandwiches that much. If someone stole your sandwich I feel like you'd call them and be like "I may not have my sandwich, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills...If you let my sandwich go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."

Alyson:  If you can't get me pizza, there better be a sandwich in that bag or I am WALKING OUT THAT DOOR I SWEAR TO GOD.


Alyson:  But I HAVE AN IDEA FOR A WEB SERIES.

Darius:  Hah! Cuz it's like, a web series.  So let me get this straight, it's not even tv, but you still do all the work of tv. It's basically aspiring to be the best guy friend of the girl instead of the boyfriend.

Alyson:  I love this because it's totally me. Analogies can be so funny when you're good at them but I am just not. I'm so bad at them that... well, I'm really bad at them.

Darius:  This is how I feel whenever I come up with analogies on the fly.  I should probably not be telling this, but I put a great deal of time and energy into coming up with analogies before I need them.  And also, I have very few friends.

Darius: You right!

Alyson: I'm going to start a game where we all try to guess which Damon Wayans Junior tweet will be included in our list every month.

Darius:  I am not entirely sure what is happening here, but maybe, just maybe......this guy has it all figured out. OR he just wants to go home and masturbate hell I don't know.

Alyson:  This picture will live in my memory forever.


Darius: *Mitt goes to kitchen and snorts 3 lines of finely crushed up vanilla wafers*

Alyson: I am so glad you included this tweet, Darius. This made me laugh so hard on election night. Chase Mitchell is the man (and also newly hired as a monologue writer for Nikki Glaser's new show SO EXCITED).


Darius:  You've almost certainly seen this one, but I couldn't leave it off the list.  He manages to craft a joke that deals with two super sensitive subjects (rape and politics) and is very funny at the same time. Well played Alec.

Alyson: Just so true and so funny. Republicans, take note.

Alyson:  This is my life. Every day is a constant struggle with the war on pants.

Darius:  I agree.  But my main go to outside of pants are jean shorts aka jorts, and apparently the entire world hates them. So pants it is.

Darius: This is silly.  But it's true.  People get offended (and maybe rightfully so) if they can connect your use of hand sanitizer to contact with them.  I like to use hand sanitizer the moment the person turns their back...like a NON-CONFRONTATIONAL PSYCHOPATH.

Alyson: At least your hands are clean for when you kill them!


Darius:  Nikki Glaser is amazing, and I am a huge fan of hers.  Love that she knows when to pick and choose her battles.
Alyson:  Nikki has become one of my favorite comedians ever. My favorite part is that she attributes her saying "Yeah, that's fine" to Dicky. That's her now, and she's accepted it.
Darius: EXACTLY!
 Alyson:  Two things great about this joke. If you're familiar with JD Salinger then the thought of him doing this is enough to be hilarious. And the addition of "...and cracking up" is such a great image and perfect add-on to the already-funny joke.

Darius:  Ok, Alyson, I get it, you're smarter than me.  Does everyone get it but me?


Alyson:  Why, men, why? My brain does not wrap around this logic. It is more work to back INTO the spot than OUT of it.

Darius:  I'll answer that.  On behalf of all the men out there that back into spaces, we do it because we live in a world where Seal got Heidi Klum pregnant.  

Alyson:  Good jokes about sandwiches in the month of November. As a fan of sandwiches I am fully on board with Michelle Wolf, here. Sorry still life paintings with bowls of fruit, you just can't compete here.

Darius:  I remember enjoying this tweet because she frames the two situations perfectly.  You can stare at a picture and get food or you can stare at a picture and not get food.  There's no choice to be made there.

Alyson:  Just perfection. There's nothing more I can say about this joke that will make it better. Love the use of the word "dope."

Darius:  I don't know why, but I really enjoy that he's been lined up outside of best by for four days.

Darius:  What wins me over about this tweet is the fact that the quality of the actual film does not factor into this decision at all.  What a perfectly absurd reason for refusing to watch Tower Heist.

Alyson: Out of ALL THE REASONS not to watch Tower Heist.

Darius:   I have not seen this movie and I had no opinion on it until I read this tweet.  I agree Tyler.  I NEED a Life of Pi promotional poster with this quote on the bottom.  This tweet is a way of life.

Alyson:  Hey film guys, you can tell me A THOUSAND TIMES NO A MILLION how good Life of Pi is and it's STILL not going to make me want to see that movie more than 0%.

Darius:  I agree, but in fairness the sign is cut off.  It could say "Real estate investor seeks student for internship." Oh the sign is in the middle of a dirt patch....next to some trash...and a bush...and a concrete wall. Nevermind, some idiot is going meet this "investor" then wake up and be like "Fuck! Not another sex dungeon!"

Alyson:  Most certainly, that is what's happening here. In a year we'll be watching a CSI episode about this (this joke would be better if I watched CSI and knew for sure that's what the show is about).


Darius:  It's like "Catfish"-ing yourself professionally.  It's brilliant.  The very grim scenario I envisioned: Guy updates profile to read "Co-creator of Instagram." Guy is fork lifted out of house and driven on flatbed truck to Burger King.

Alyson:  Envisioning that scenario makes me extremely happy because it's brilliantly funny but also extremely sad because aww, that guy. Who invented LinkedIn? Probably the Winklevoss' twins or something, right?

Alyson:  Going to start the petition to marry tweets because I really want to get serious and combine bank accounts and get all sorts of legal with this tweet.

Darius:  I just feel like you guys just kind of rushed into this and in ten years you'll be checking this tweet's phone and have conversations that start with "Oh so Mary faved you? Who's Mary?"


Alyson:  Yesterday I had a great joke to go along with this but then I "slept on it" and completely forgot it so remind me not to do that ever again. Great joke by Steven Amiri though.

Darius:  I love the very Donald Trumpian "Welp, back to the drawing board" feel of this one.

Well there you have it, another solid month in the books.  There were so many tweets to choose from that a number of favorites got left off the list.  I mean my "favorite player" of the twitterverse, Jen Statsky, didn't even make the final cut.  (But don't worry, that will get remedied next month)  Alright then, provided the Mayans were full of shit we'll be back next year with the best December has to offer.  Hit us up on twitter!

Alyson's twitter

Darius' twitter

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Sure I could take a picture of a turkey, slap it here and call it a day (There was certainly much internal conflict involved) but ultimately my more motivated side won out.  So today, on thanksgiving, before my family starts bothering me (see below), I've decided to pick 5 things (Give or take) that I'm grateful for and share them with you!


5.  I am grateful I am not an unruly passenger on a bus.  *For the uninitiated, a woman pushes a bus driver while he's driving because he asked her to get off after not paying.  Then this happens* Skip to 25 seconds.


The Uppercut Bus Driver Viral Video is one of my favorites.  Obviously, a man should never hit a woman, and I'm glad he was fired.  However there are things I love about this video: 1. The "You Goin to Jail NOW!" catchphrase. 2.  The Worldstar.com logo zig zagging and flipping around just before / throughout the best part of the video.  3.  The driver has the wherewithal to clean up his own mess.

4.  The gorgeous bank teller that's originally from San Francisco!  Thank you for being you! (I'm assuming she'll google "gorgeous bank teller that's originally from San Francisco" and be brought to this page.) To the people that also bank there, AM I RIGHT!? For the rest of you guys, she reminds me of Beth Behrs.

3. Ben and Kate.  I'm so happy Alyson put me on to this show.  It doesn't get any better.  I thought my favorite new show on Fox was going to be The Mindy Project by a mile, but Ben and Kate has so much heart coupled with so much funny that it's incredibly refreshing.  Just DVR one ep, or watch one on Hulu and see what you think.


Honorary: Barack and McKayla 

I don't care if you have seen this pic 2 million times now, my president has swag and I love it.

2.  I also love Jason Sudeikis. He went on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon not too long ago, and after his interview he and Jimmy played Russian Roulette with eggs.  8 Hard Boiled and 4 Raw.  Despite the fact that I'm very much in the tank for Jason I think it's generally very enjoyable. Really silly stuff.

If you just have to know what happens here's part 2.

1.  This Beats commercial.  Ellie Goudling, Weezy, Killa Cam, LeBron, Zedd, Tyson Ritter, 2 Chainz...it doesn't get any better.  I'm not sure I would ever spend $250 dollars on headphones that I would lose within a month, but I'm thinkin about it.


Til next time, I'm out!

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Alyson and Darius' Favorite Tweets of October

Yup, we're back!  Back to bring you more of the greatness being cultivated in the twittersphere.  As me and Alyson were weeding through tweets it was apparent that October was a very good month for comedians on twitter.  It ended up being incredibly difficult to narrow down, but somehow we managed to, once again, bring you the best of the best.  Let's jump in!  

Darius:  I can not relate to this at all, but I love Nikki and she is hilarious.  The closest I have come to this is maybe applying chapstick on the metrolink OK I CAN TOTALLY RELATE TO THIS TWEET.

Alyson:  I.love.this. Generally I say "I don't usually wear makeup" in the same regard as those idiots who say "I don't watch TV" but every girl knows what this face is like. Nikki Glaser, be my friend.


Alyson: The best political tweet I saw all year.
Darius: Wholeheartedly agree. 

Alyson: Just great. Absolutely on board with this thought and I love everything about it and if you go to a mexican restaurant that doesn't serve chips and salsa just report them for sexual harassment or something. That's how that works, right?

Darius: That's*exactly* how that works.  This kind of behavior is unacceptable considering all you have to do is buy bags of chips and bottles of salsa.  Accountability...SMH.  American mexican food may have nothing to do with mexico, but at least let me pretend. 


Alyson: How to get your tweet favorited by Alyson: mention pizza. It's that simple. And this is one of the best because seriously you guys. And I really love it when the wording of a joke is so perfect that it is almost the reason for it being funny in the first place.

 
Darius:  There are many things Alyson loves, but I'm slowly realizing that pizza is definitely top ten.  But more to the point, I would consider poisoning someone that offered me a slice of olive pizza.
Darius:  Another one that doesn't need much explanation.  Just silliness at it's best.  This is what twitter is all about.  The second hashtag is what really gets me.

Alyson:  Damon Wayans Jr. is so amazing that he can make a food tweet funny. Guys, that takes some serious skill these days and I feel like that could go underrated.

Alyson: Why do people do this? I don't know how or when people started to think the apostrophe belonged after the numbers but it needs to stop. We need to raise awareness to end this atrocity.

 
Darius:  I love it.  I'm not really sure how this rogue apostrophe movement got started, but hopefully it goes the way of air quotes.


Darius:  I don't understand how this happens!! Where are they?  Are there people sized chickens running around LA? Are there chicken sized people living among us? Jenny please elaborate!!

Alyson: I love that "A CHICKEN" is capitalized. It really makes the seriousness of this mistake stand out. Seriously though, I haven't seen any people-sized chickens running around (or chicken-sized people for that matter) in LA so I've got some questions for Mrs. Slate.


Darius:  I love absurd situations with really corny punchlines.  Especially if the actor sells it.  It's half the reason why people think I'm fake laughing at corny jokes.  It's not funny because it's funny, it's funny because it's so silly / corny.  In closing, Michelle is hilarious.

Alyson:  Alyson: Agreed, I will always laugh at good corny jokes. THIS IS WHAT MAKES US LOVABLE, DARIUS (I think, I could be wrong I guess but once it's in all caps there's no going back).


Alyson: My life.

 
Darius: Genius!  Real talk, I don't understand how people "unwind" by watching documentaries. I would say watching 90% of the documentaries out there would qualify as work. It's essentially the visual equivalent of reading a book about yoga.


Darius:  The thing about Rozay is he is almost certainly eating a cupcake cupcakes right now.  And gun to my head I would say there are strips of bacon involved.

Alyson: At this point, I love Darius' comment more than the actual tweet itself. But this has me thinking, because now I'm never going to be able to work out while I listen to ANYTHING because now I'm just going to image what Marc Maron or Pete Holmes is doing at that moment, be so jealous that they're probably drinking coffee and petting cats (that's admittedly as assumption solely for Maron) that I'm just going to have to stop whatever dumb workout machine I'm pretending to use and go catch up on the DVR.

Alyson: Top three favorite tweets of all time. Alex Baze, you are the master. Will anyone mind if I start doing finger guns ironically because I love this tweet so much? Or is that too much? Serious inquires only.

 
Darius: Alyson, please please please start doing finger guns! 


Darius:  This tweet is the story of my existence at work and it will continue to be.  The only time I had a real conversation with someone I ended up buying two $50 tickets to a black women in media wine tasting event...NEVER AGAIN!

Alyson: I would love to just talk to someone in an elevator about how much I love Jen Statsky. This tweet is so perfect I want to marry it. Also, I worked a women in media dinner event once and it was not something that looked fun, so Darius, my regards.


Darius: Brilliant observation!  It's so true that the only real recourse a crossing guard has is to throw his or her hands up.  Basically just enough to let you know you've ruined their one opportunity to contribute to society.  In closing, I am not a fan of crossing guards.  They'll make you miss a light waiting on one kid that is just casually swag walking across the street.

Alyson: "Casually swag walking across the street" is now my favorite sentence to ever be written. Totally agree with these school crossing guards and my only question is "OBAMA WHY ARE WE NOT WORRIED ABOUT THE IMPORTANT THINGS?"


Alyson: This makes me laugh every time I read it. The "I just can't anymore" is what really does it for me.

 
Darius: Abbi proving that the crusade against autocorrect is still funny. Seriously though, it's like, enough is enough autocorrect.  And yes, the "I can't" seals the deal.


Alyson: Another serious question. Also, the women who wear makeup at the gym. What are you girls doing with your lives?

 
Darius:  I have 0% hair and 0% understanding of this issue.  Doesn't seem practical though. Jen is the best.

Alyson: Amazing. Just amazing.

 
Darius: The girl I'm dating DEFINITELY did.


Darius:  How did that Facebook buying Instagram deal go down?  Instagram: "I mean if you really want all these pictures of food it's gonna cost you a billion dollars." Facebook: "Oh we WANT those pictures." Instagram: "?"

Alyson:  This tweet is amazing. From now on I'm going to mass-text all my instagram-loving friends descriptions of my breakfast. Hey guys: this morning it was toasted pastry with strawberry filling and some icing on top (for all you other friends: poptart™) call me later and we'll talk about it.


Darius: I just want Michelle to teach me how to use twitter. 

Alyson:  Michelle Wolf, HOW DO YOU DO IT?!

---totally forgot about this one. but it made me laugh.  you know i love the middletons ---



Alyson: Perfectly worded joke. But seriously guys, what is causing you to like stuff like this? I'll never understand facebook, and this just makes the entire thing worse for me.

 
Darius: I once Lysol'd my way outta a plague that got 224 people out of 270 person dorm sick.  I might go "like" Lysol right now.  Today's Lysol is not ya momma's Lysol, this sh*t is the real deal.


Alyson: It's insane how many jokes Michelle Wolf can tweet in one day. It's even more insane that most of those jokes become some of my favorites. Everyone knows Ikea is the worst place in the world, and this joke hits home most when I'm fixing my Ikea couch three to four times a week.

 
Darius: I think 50% of my favs are hers.  And that's because she tweets around 20 jokes a day.  This woman is a machine. 

I just love that there are so many effective stylistic approaches to being funny on twitter.  These guys make it about a billion times easier to convince friends to make the jump from facebook to twitter.  Anyway, I can tell you that November is looking pretty strong so I'm already excited.  As always, keep us posted on your favorite tweets!  We are friendly and love all things twitter related.  You can find us here:




Thursday, November 1, 2012

Blog So Hard! Part 1

So we've reached the point at work where I literally have nothing to do everyday.  I go in and sit for 8 hours, then go home.  It's a blessing and a curse really.  Because 1, I am not a fan of working.  And 2, I am not a fan of sitting somewhere for 8 hours in the middle of the day with nothing to do.  But I won't complain, cuz like, they pay me to be here.  Money that I will one day use to buy Jennifer Lawrence a wedding ring.  However, first things first, we need to get caught up.  This one's kinda long so we'll make it a two parter.  Part 2 tmw/whenever I feel like it.  Here's what we got...

The election is coming up.  (Derrr Darius) I think my favorite thing to come out of this election isn't binder based, or the Romney campaign declaring they wouldn't let fact checkers "Hold them back."  No, my favorite part is the focus on undecided voters followed by the mocking of said voters.  Which makes sense...there's so much information available to us now, it's like how are you missing literally everything that's happening outside of your little bubble.  Personally, I feel like any undecided voters better be men, and they better be men with no daughters.


Well that was my round about way of mentioning that SNL did a sketch on undecided voters a couple weeks ago that was brilliance.


Speaking of SNL: Kate McKinnon is amazinggggggggg.  Seriously I am in love.  Alyson told me.  She told everybody.  Great call.  Watching her reminds me of how Amy used to carry the program in the post Fey-Morgan era.    

Kate's on the far left.  As much as I love Kristen, Kate makes me not miss her as much. I say this knowing full well the next time I see Kristen on screen I will miss her.
And one last SNL gold nugget:

The Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started a Conversation with at a Party.


I love that Rondo and Ray Allen hate each other. It makes me very happy.  Also love how butt hurt KG is over this.  Who would have thought?


Remember when I used to hate Bieber?  Well I am maybe 100% on board now.  Just thought you should know.

Chris Brown dressed up as a terrorist for Halloween.  Yo Breezy, if you are reading this..N*GGA ARE YOU SERIOUS!?  Real talk, I'm done with this guy any time he is not singing or dancing. Dude is a wack job.  If you wanna see the pic you can check that out here.

Basketball is too easy for LeBron James.  Can you imagine how fun it must be to do this and get paid 16 million a year to do it?


Podcasts:

The podcast game has been slipping lately IMO but a couple eps have sparked my interest recently...

You can find both on Itunes

Here's the Thing w/ Alec Baldwin: Guest: Fred Armisen.  - I have a lot of respect for Fred.  He's incredible and I could listen to him talk about sketch for hours.

Call Chelsea Peretti: Don't know how I feel about this one yet.  I AM a big Chelsea fan, but again, I'm gonna have to give this one a few listens to see if it gets it's feet.  She is funny though.  So check it out for yourself!


Remember Part 2 tmw! But first, one last thing (17 seconds)


Monday, October 15, 2012

Alyson and Darius' Favorite Tweets of September


That’s right!  Alyson is finally on the site! By now you probably already know who she is because I gush over how wonderfully talented she is.   Seriously, you need to cruise on over to Alyson’s pop culture blog, her newer venture chronicling her adventures in LA, and of course her twitter @alysonisntfunny.   Anyway, one of the reasons I love Alyson so much is the fact that we seem to be on the same page on just about everything, and twitter is no exception.  When she hit me up with an email demanding suggesting we co-write a post of our favs, I couldn’t have been more excited.  With both of us on the case, we cover some serious ground in the hunt for shenanigans in the twittersphere.  So without further adieu, here are our favorite tweets of September!


Alyson: I find this funny not only because I can laugh at my own gender, but because I've spent years taking people's food orders. This is the best use of the Quote Attribute joke (that is a little too popular right now) that I've seen, which makes me even more impressed by it. 

Darius: See this is me all day. I legit feel bad when I'm ordering things which is why I'm always super nice to whoever is taking my order. And yeah, the quote attribute joke construction is very popular right now, but the good ones still make me laugh.


Alyson: If I were to keep a list of my pet peeves (I totally don't do this jk please be my friend) then this one would be like Top One or Two on the spot (I'm terrified of commitment, and giving something the Number One spot on a list is just too much). So Aparna Nancheria nails yet another Quote Attribute joke. 

Darius: The whole "I don't own a tv so I'm better" thing really upsets me. AND you're definitely NOT above the "tv fray" if you're just watching everything on HULU and refreshing your browser at 2AM PST so you can watch that new episode of Revenge.


Darius: I've noticed that a lot of my favs seem to come from writers on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. Love that show. Love those writers. Plus this just seems like really solid advice in general. 

Alyson: I totally agree with this, his writers always end up being some of my favorites.

 
Alyson: Just a great precise joke. And as a big fan of sandwiches this joke really speaks to my heart. 

Darius: Confession: I've never eaten a sandwich from Subway.  I can't deal with the smells! 

Darius: Just Solid.

Alyson: Common sense wins me over every time.

 
Alyson: Nothing annoys me more than people, and the Self Righteous Bathroom Mirror Picture is one of the worst things people can do. No one has ever looked good in one of these pictures. So let's all take Josh Malina's advice here. 

Darius: I hope none of the super-hot-super-vapid girls I'm friends with on facebook find out about this.
 
Darius: Ok so my favorites are dominated by Happy Endings stars and Late Night With Jimmy Fallon writers. So what? Anyway, this tweet is so real. In fact, this girl I'm dating almost said the same exact thing to me. I'm not so sure she's the sharpest tool in the shed, but she's super hot so ya know, priorities. 

Alyson: This is why me and Darius are on the same wave length.


Alyson: Oh double standards, how everyone loathes you while also takes part in you. I love this, mostly because I want to be one of those single forever people, and I don't want all of you boring married people judging me. 

Darius: Since I'm a few years older, it feels as though all of my friends are getting married *right now*, and I HATE IT. It's almost like some people are doing it to unlock achievement points or something.



Darius: jenny you silly!


Alyson: Who doesn't do this, I mean really. 

Darius: I love it. You're right Alyson, we all do it. It's like that game where you pretend you're being chased by a serial killer and you have to see how quickly you can get your keys out and get in the car. Maybe it's not like that at all. I don't know.

Alyson: It's EXACTLY LIKE THAT.
Darius: Duh Jen is my hero, and I faved many of her tweets this month, but I liked this one because, 1) it addresses 9/11 on 9/11 in a sea of annoying patriotic- self indulging -making a statement on facebook-even though its facebook-stautses. (Which I'm totally cool with people's beliefs and everything, but it's like "this is facebook" take it easy bro, two posts below is a girl making a pouty kiss face with the status "im going out tonight" and an inexplicable 35 likes). 

Alyson: I almost like what Darius has to say about Jen's tweets more than the tweet itself. I think this tweet was my favorite 9/11 tweet because I just don't think twitter or Facebook is the place for ultra-serious, sad-to-get-attention thoughts.
 
Darius: Quickly becoming one of my favorites to follow on twitter. I saw a girl rocking the tiara on her birthday and I thought about this. And yes, I definitely spent the whole night becoming besties with that girl. 

Alyson: Totally agree about Wolf becoming one of my favorite people on twitter. My favorites are kind of becoming flooded with her. And you can't hate a person's enthusiasm for tiaras. You just can't.
 
Alyson: Solid pun, right there. 

Darius: Good pun but LOL at taking a shot at Mike Myers. He's got that Uncle Scrooge money, he's untouchable.
 Alyson: Excellent point.

Alyson: He probably doesn't even know what Breaking Bad is. 

Darius: He definitely doesn't watch breaking bad, but Mitt would be 1000x more likable if he memorized 2 phrases. 1. "Do you watch Breaking Bad?" and 2. "Breaking Bad is the best show on television." Fact: In those last two sentences there was a very real 3 seconds where I convinced myself that I should be his campaign manager.
Darius: I think you have to read Casey's tweet's in her voice to get the full effect. The part that kills me is the hashtag "real question." Cuz like, now I'm really thinking about this too. 

Alyson: I do have to give it to them for appreciating a good season finale.
 
Alyson: September 20th was an On day for Meg Abbitch. Both of me nailed my personality to a capitol-T T. 

Darius: I'm one of those people that if I'm not "on" people are all, "what's wrong?" "smile Darius..." I'm feeling that tweet.
 
Darius: Did OJ do it, I don't know. probably? I mean he did write a book titled If I Did It. ("If" in white lettering, "I did it" in red LOL)  Regardless, Juice ain't goin' nowhere 'til 2041 for stealing his own stuff. I'm sorry, but if I beat a double murder case I'm not jay walking, I'm not stealing snicker bars, I'm not parking in a handicap spot, I'm returning library books on time etc... 

Alyson: I'm not paying my bills late, I'm not beating any hookers... I may have escalated this bit too quickly.

 
Alyson: Hands down the smartest joke I read all month, and possibly my favorite tweet to ever exist. Perfection. 

Darius: Patton Oswalt is great. Great in the United States of Tara. Great in Young Adult. Just More Patton Oswalt please.
 
Darius: Before that show goes into production I'm gonna need somebody at Fox to say "We're better than this." 

Alyson: Let's be honest, Fox isn't a "we're better than this" network. They produce Glee for god sakes. I love how perfectly simple and funny this tweet is.


Darius: This guy is awesome. I think my favorite tweet of his is the Herman Cain Anagram, but this one is pretty good. 

Alyson: God I love that Herman Cain Anagram tweet. I like how he could've gone with the "following" her because of how twitter has normalized that action, but no, he's better than that. He goes old school and it works.


Alyson: Ah, the old adage: It's funny because it's true. 

Darius: I'm gonna try this. But I'm gonna take it one step further and picture them struggling to get up after falling down.

And with that we can leave September behind and focus on October since apparently this month is going by so quickly it's almost like it barely wanted to exist in the first place. I hope you liked this because we're going to keep it going. Mostly because we had fun doing it. You know what would also be fun? If you shared your favorite September Tweets with us.


We out!