Monday, October 15, 2012

Alyson and Darius' Favorite Tweets of September

That’s right!  Alyson is finally on the site! By now you probably already know who she is because I gush over how wonderfully talented she is.   Seriously, you need to cruise on over to Alyson’s pop culture blog, her newer venture chronicling her adventures in LA, and of course her twitter @alysonisntfunny.   Anyway, one of the reasons I love Alyson so much is the fact that we seem to be on the same page on just about everything, and twitter is no exception.  When she hit me up with an email demanding suggesting we co-write a post of our favs, I couldn’t have been more excited.  With both of us on the case, we cover some serious ground in the hunt for shenanigans in the twittersphere.  So without further adieu, here are our favorite tweets of September!

Alyson: I find this funny not only because I can laugh at my own gender, but because I've spent years taking people's food orders. This is the best use of the Quote Attribute joke (that is a little too popular right now) that I've seen, which makes me even more impressed by it. 

Darius: See this is me all day. I legit feel bad when I'm ordering things which is why I'm always super nice to whoever is taking my order. And yeah, the quote attribute joke construction is very popular right now, but the good ones still make me laugh.

Alyson: If I were to keep a list of my pet peeves (I totally don't do this jk please be my friend) then this one would be like Top One or Two on the spot (I'm terrified of commitment, and giving something the Number One spot on a list is just too much). So Aparna Nancheria nails yet another Quote Attribute joke. 

Darius: The whole "I don't own a tv so I'm better" thing really upsets me. AND you're definitely NOT above the "tv fray" if you're just watching everything on HULU and refreshing your browser at 2AM PST so you can watch that new episode of Revenge.

Darius: I've noticed that a lot of my favs seem to come from writers on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. Love that show. Love those writers. Plus this just seems like really solid advice in general. 

Alyson: I totally agree with this, his writers always end up being some of my favorites.

Alyson: Just a great precise joke. And as a big fan of sandwiches this joke really speaks to my heart. 

Darius: Confession: I've never eaten a sandwich from Subway.  I can't deal with the smells! 

Darius: Just Solid.

Alyson: Common sense wins me over every time.

Alyson: Nothing annoys me more than people, and the Self Righteous Bathroom Mirror Picture is one of the worst things people can do. No one has ever looked good in one of these pictures. So let's all take Josh Malina's advice here. 

Darius: I hope none of the super-hot-super-vapid girls I'm friends with on facebook find out about this.
Darius: Ok so my favorites are dominated by Happy Endings stars and Late Night With Jimmy Fallon writers. So what? Anyway, this tweet is so real. In fact, this girl I'm dating almost said the same exact thing to me. I'm not so sure she's the sharpest tool in the shed, but she's super hot so ya know, priorities. 

Alyson: This is why me and Darius are on the same wave length.

Alyson: Oh double standards, how everyone loathes you while also takes part in you. I love this, mostly because I want to be one of those single forever people, and I don't want all of you boring married people judging me. 

Darius: Since I'm a few years older, it feels as though all of my friends are getting married *right now*, and I HATE IT. It's almost like some people are doing it to unlock achievement points or something.

Darius: jenny you silly!

Alyson: Who doesn't do this, I mean really. 

Darius: I love it. You're right Alyson, we all do it. It's like that game where you pretend you're being chased by a serial killer and you have to see how quickly you can get your keys out and get in the car. Maybe it's not like that at all. I don't know.

Darius: Duh Jen is my hero, and I faved many of her tweets this month, but I liked this one because, 1) it addresses 9/11 on 9/11 in a sea of annoying patriotic- self indulging -making a statement on facebook-even though its facebook-stautses. (Which I'm totally cool with people's beliefs and everything, but it's like "this is facebook" take it easy bro, two posts below is a girl making a pouty kiss face with the status "im going out tonight" and an inexplicable 35 likes). 

Alyson: I almost like what Darius has to say about Jen's tweets more than the tweet itself. I think this tweet was my favorite 9/11 tweet because I just don't think twitter or Facebook is the place for ultra-serious, sad-to-get-attention thoughts.
Darius: Quickly becoming one of my favorites to follow on twitter. I saw a girl rocking the tiara on her birthday and I thought about this. And yes, I definitely spent the whole night becoming besties with that girl. 

Alyson: Totally agree about Wolf becoming one of my favorite people on twitter. My favorites are kind of becoming flooded with her. And you can't hate a person's enthusiasm for tiaras. You just can't.
Alyson: Solid pun, right there. 

Darius: Good pun but LOL at taking a shot at Mike Myers. He's got that Uncle Scrooge money, he's untouchable.
 Alyson: Excellent point.

Alyson: He probably doesn't even know what Breaking Bad is. 

Darius: He definitely doesn't watch breaking bad, but Mitt would be 1000x more likable if he memorized 2 phrases. 1. "Do you watch Breaking Bad?" and 2. "Breaking Bad is the best show on television." Fact: In those last two sentences there was a very real 3 seconds where I convinced myself that I should be his campaign manager.
Darius: I think you have to read Casey's tweet's in her voice to get the full effect. The part that kills me is the hashtag "real question." Cuz like, now I'm really thinking about this too. 

Alyson: I do have to give it to them for appreciating a good season finale.
Alyson: September 20th was an On day for Meg Abbitch. Both of me nailed my personality to a capitol-T T. 

Darius: I'm one of those people that if I'm not "on" people are all, "what's wrong?" "smile Darius..." I'm feeling that tweet.
Darius: Did OJ do it, I don't know. probably? I mean he did write a book titled If I Did It. ("If" in white lettering, "I did it" in red LOL)  Regardless, Juice ain't goin' nowhere 'til 2041 for stealing his own stuff. I'm sorry, but if I beat a double murder case I'm not jay walking, I'm not stealing snicker bars, I'm not parking in a handicap spot, I'm returning library books on time etc... 

Alyson: I'm not paying my bills late, I'm not beating any hookers... I may have escalated this bit too quickly.

Alyson: Hands down the smartest joke I read all month, and possibly my favorite tweet to ever exist. Perfection. 

Darius: Patton Oswalt is great. Great in the United States of Tara. Great in Young Adult. Just More Patton Oswalt please.
Darius: Before that show goes into production I'm gonna need somebody at Fox to say "We're better than this." 

Alyson: Let's be honest, Fox isn't a "we're better than this" network. They produce Glee for god sakes. I love how perfectly simple and funny this tweet is.

Darius: This guy is awesome. I think my favorite tweet of his is the Herman Cain Anagram, but this one is pretty good. 

Alyson: God I love that Herman Cain Anagram tweet. I like how he could've gone with the "following" her because of how twitter has normalized that action, but no, he's better than that. He goes old school and it works.

Alyson: Ah, the old adage: It's funny because it's true. 

Darius: I'm gonna try this. But I'm gonna take it one step further and picture them struggling to get up after falling down.

And with that we can leave September behind and focus on October since apparently this month is going by so quickly it's almost like it barely wanted to exist in the first place. I hope you liked this because we're going to keep it going. Mostly because we had fun doing it. You know what would also be fun? If you shared your favorite September Tweets with us.

We out!