Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Lights, CAM-era, Action!

Even though Christmas time can be stressful, this year I've found myself in a particularly cheery mood.  Probably because this is the second year I'll be doing a favorite things post, and thinking about everything that I've enjoyed this year makes me very happy.  If you haven't already, I'm sure you'll start to see best of lists for 2012 start popping up on the sites you usually visit.  I haven't gotten there yet, but Alyson has gotten the ball rolling so you should definitely swing over there and pay extra attention over the next week or so.

So before we get to our 2012 review, it's time to get caught up on a couple of commercials + one sketch that I've been meaning to highlight for a while

First up Cam Newton.  This guy is funny.  I don't understand how people can hate him.  I mean, how can you actually, legitimately, despise him?  Sure you could say he's cocky, but I think his bravado comes from a good place.  He just likes to have fun.  Here, take a look at the "this is sportscenter" ad he shot earlier this year.


Still not convinced? Ok, check out this hilarious spot he filmed with a kid for the NFL's play 60 initiative.


Shifting gears for a second, perhaps slipping under the radar was Jamie Foxx hosting SNL on the 8th.  There were a couple of solid sketches.  I really enjoyed the "Maine Justice" courtroom sketch in which he and Sudeikis essentially act ridiculous for a few minutes.  But I think the standout for me was Jamie being interviewed as the Hostess snack "Ding Dong" during weekend update.  It's classic Jamie being Jamie.  (Is there anyone more talented on the planet?)  I also love that you can see Seth enjoying the banter.


Finally, this is absolutely one of my favorite commercials of 2012.  This Chris Paul / Cliff Paul spot stands out for two reasons. 1st. Chris Paul just seems like a great dude in general. 2nd. Turns out dude is pretty damn goofy.  Statefarm is at the top of their game when it comes to athlete commercials.   It's a minute long, but it's worth it.


Alright.  When I come back it'll be with Part 1 of my favorite things of 2012 post.  Remember how much fun last year was?

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Alyson and Darius' Favorite Tweets of November!

We didn't forget!  It is finally that time again!  Believe me, I get wayyy too excited to comb through tweets with Alyson to let the month slip away without a favorite tweets installment.  Looking back, November was a pretty eventful month.  I mean we had Thanksgiving, Stanford beat Oregon, and then UCLA *twice* to get into the Rose Bowl, Lindsay Lohan was epically blindsided by the complete face plant of Liz and Dick, but most importantly my president is still black.  Well you know how this works, so let's get to it!

Alyson:  And then the second best part of the day is getting said sandwich and then eating that sandwich and then wondering if maybe you should also have a sandwich for dinner.

Darius:  I had no idea you liked sandwiches that much. If someone stole your sandwich I feel like you'd call them and be like "I may not have my sandwich, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills...If you let my sandwich go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."

Alyson:  If you can't get me pizza, there better be a sandwich in that bag or I am WALKING OUT THAT DOOR I SWEAR TO GOD.


Alyson:  But I HAVE AN IDEA FOR A WEB SERIES.

Darius:  Hah! Cuz it's like, a web series.  So let me get this straight, it's not even tv, but you still do all the work of tv. It's basically aspiring to be the best guy friend of the girl instead of the boyfriend.

Alyson:  I love this because it's totally me. Analogies can be so funny when you're good at them but I am just not. I'm so bad at them that... well, I'm really bad at them.

Darius:  This is how I feel whenever I come up with analogies on the fly.  I should probably not be telling this, but I put a great deal of time and energy into coming up with analogies before I need them.  And also, I have very few friends.

Darius: You right!

Alyson: I'm going to start a game where we all try to guess which Damon Wayans Junior tweet will be included in our list every month.

Darius:  I am not entirely sure what is happening here, but maybe, just maybe......this guy has it all figured out. OR he just wants to go home and masturbate hell I don't know.

Alyson:  This picture will live in my memory forever.


Darius: *Mitt goes to kitchen and snorts 3 lines of finely crushed up vanilla wafers*

Alyson: I am so glad you included this tweet, Darius. This made me laugh so hard on election night. Chase Mitchell is the man (and also newly hired as a monologue writer for Nikki Glaser's new show SO EXCITED).


Darius:  You've almost certainly seen this one, but I couldn't leave it off the list.  He manages to craft a joke that deals with two super sensitive subjects (rape and politics) and is very funny at the same time. Well played Alec.

Alyson: Just so true and so funny. Republicans, take note.

Alyson:  This is my life. Every day is a constant struggle with the war on pants.

Darius:  I agree.  But my main go to outside of pants are jean shorts aka jorts, and apparently the entire world hates them. So pants it is.

Darius: This is silly.  But it's true.  People get offended (and maybe rightfully so) if they can connect your use of hand sanitizer to contact with them.  I like to use hand sanitizer the moment the person turns their back...like a NON-CONFRONTATIONAL PSYCHOPATH.

Alyson: At least your hands are clean for when you kill them!


Darius:  Nikki Glaser is amazing, and I am a huge fan of hers.  Love that she knows when to pick and choose her battles.
Alyson:  Nikki has become one of my favorite comedians ever. My favorite part is that she attributes her saying "Yeah, that's fine" to Dicky. That's her now, and she's accepted it.
Darius: EXACTLY!
 Alyson:  Two things great about this joke. If you're familiar with JD Salinger then the thought of him doing this is enough to be hilarious. And the addition of "...and cracking up" is such a great image and perfect add-on to the already-funny joke.

Darius:  Ok, Alyson, I get it, you're smarter than me.  Does everyone get it but me?


Alyson:  Why, men, why? My brain does not wrap around this logic. It is more work to back INTO the spot than OUT of it.

Darius:  I'll answer that.  On behalf of all the men out there that back into spaces, we do it because we live in a world where Seal got Heidi Klum pregnant.  

Alyson:  Good jokes about sandwiches in the month of November. As a fan of sandwiches I am fully on board with Michelle Wolf, here. Sorry still life paintings with bowls of fruit, you just can't compete here.

Darius:  I remember enjoying this tweet because she frames the two situations perfectly.  You can stare at a picture and get food or you can stare at a picture and not get food.  There's no choice to be made there.

Alyson:  Just perfection. There's nothing more I can say about this joke that will make it better. Love the use of the word "dope."

Darius:  I don't know why, but I really enjoy that he's been lined up outside of best by for four days.

Darius:  What wins me over about this tweet is the fact that the quality of the actual film does not factor into this decision at all.  What a perfectly absurd reason for refusing to watch Tower Heist.

Alyson: Out of ALL THE REASONS not to watch Tower Heist.

Darius:   I have not seen this movie and I had no opinion on it until I read this tweet.  I agree Tyler.  I NEED a Life of Pi promotional poster with this quote on the bottom.  This tweet is a way of life.

Alyson:  Hey film guys, you can tell me A THOUSAND TIMES NO A MILLION how good Life of Pi is and it's STILL not going to make me want to see that movie more than 0%.

Darius:  I agree, but in fairness the sign is cut off.  It could say "Real estate investor seeks student for internship." Oh the sign is in the middle of a dirt patch....next to some trash...and a bush...and a concrete wall. Nevermind, some idiot is going meet this "investor" then wake up and be like "Fuck! Not another sex dungeon!"

Alyson:  Most certainly, that is what's happening here. In a year we'll be watching a CSI episode about this (this joke would be better if I watched CSI and knew for sure that's what the show is about).


Darius:  It's like "Catfish"-ing yourself professionally.  It's brilliant.  The very grim scenario I envisioned: Guy updates profile to read "Co-creator of Instagram." Guy is fork lifted out of house and driven on flatbed truck to Burger King.

Alyson:  Envisioning that scenario makes me extremely happy because it's brilliantly funny but also extremely sad because aww, that guy. Who invented LinkedIn? Probably the Winklevoss' twins or something, right?

Alyson:  Going to start the petition to marry tweets because I really want to get serious and combine bank accounts and get all sorts of legal with this tweet.

Darius:  I just feel like you guys just kind of rushed into this and in ten years you'll be checking this tweet's phone and have conversations that start with "Oh so Mary faved you? Who's Mary?"


Alyson:  Yesterday I had a great joke to go along with this but then I "slept on it" and completely forgot it so remind me not to do that ever again. Great joke by Steven Amiri though.

Darius:  I love the very Donald Trumpian "Welp, back to the drawing board" feel of this one.

Well there you have it, another solid month in the books.  There were so many tweets to choose from that a number of favorites got left off the list.  I mean my "favorite player" of the twitterverse, Jen Statsky, didn't even make the final cut.  (But don't worry, that will get remedied next month)  Alright then, provided the Mayans were full of shit we'll be back next year with the best December has to offer.  Hit us up on twitter!

Alyson's twitter

Darius' twitter