Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Courtney Stodden has a sex tape...

*"Courtney" is a way of life. A mentality.
...because all Courtneys* gonna Courtney.

Now if you're a normal well adjusted human being you probably said "who?"  upon reading the headline.  And for that I say bravo.  But if you're like me, you realize that Courtney Stodden...the chick that married the dude from Lost and everyone freaked out because he was 51 and she was 16...is an American hero.  You see this is the kind of heartwarming sextape that has the potential to bridge any divide.  We need this.  So thank your Courtney, your work and your journey will not go unrecognized for as long as I draw breath.

I think things with her off again on again husband are currently on but I'm still wondering who this sex tape is with.  Honestly it doesn't matter.  Courtney Stodden has a sex tape people.  So do your part!  Spread the good word!  Maybe send out a tweet or something.  It's only fair that we stop ignoring her for a few hours.

Update:  Turns out...it's by herself...because...OF COURSE IT IS. Ugh...

Leave it to Courtney Stodden to shit the bed running the tried and true release-a-sex-tape-to-regain-relevance playbook.  My goodness.  I hope this goes straight to porntube. 

Well needless to say I want no part of this "sex" tape but I'm glad it exists.  Plus it probably expedites the timetable for our inevitable march towards a Speidi adult flick.  But as far as this garbage, welp, clears throat "different strokes for different folks."

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